Band leadership, drama, getting sh*t done

ubw newbie Joined: Sep 11, 2006 Posts: 3

I'm wanting advice from people who have been in long-term established bands on band leadership/management issues.

For issues like what new material to learn, what venue and what day you're going to play, how rehearsals and auditions are going to go, etc.

Do you:
a) take a straight vote, majority rules
b) have one person (leader) who decides what the band is going to do
c) vote, but if one person is against it then they automatically can veto

For new song selection, I like every band member adding X songs to a list that they'd like to add to the set list. Then we take the big list of everyone's suggestions, and each person ranks each song 1-5, 5 being "oh yeah, must do that one", 1 being "I hate it". Our band has 5 members, so 25 is a perfect score. Songs with the highest scores get added to the list first.

That is nice and democratic, but then there's always someone who has to say "I really don't want to do that one" on a song that has a high score. Or even "I refuse to do that one". This is what happens in our band.

Or when we get offered a show on short notice -- a "favor" for a booking agent who can REALLY help us out in the future -- it's a 3-2 vote to take the show... then a coin toss came up "take the show"... but then one person throws an absolute hissy fit about it and threatens to quit because he doesn't want to be tired for work the next day (it was a week day show, ick! but being owed a favor by this person would be major, and most of the band recognized that fact and was willing to sacrifice sleep for the betterment of the group). How do you handle stuff like this? It's a never ending circle of drama... and as the person who tries to be fair and democratic and get everyone to agree so forward progress can be made... it's frustrating as hell. We don't have a clearly defined "leader", but I'm the one person who is the sole liason for booking agents and venues, finds the gigs, who does the website, e-mailing list, etc, etc. Everyone else just plays the songs and sits back and waits for me to say "is everyone available for this show"...

I want to do "majority rules". If one person thinks they get absolute veto all the time then it's not majority rules anymore... it's "majority rules as long as it suits me". I think if the majority votes a certain way and you don't like it then you can leave, or we'll get a fill in so you can get your beauty rest. But I don't know because this is the longest I've been in a band without turnover, and turnover might be the best thing because the way it is now it's like nothing can move forward.

How do the successful bands handle this stuff? If there's one person who continually disagrees and is unavailable for gigs due to things like "don't want to be tired the next day" or "haven't gotten together with my brother in a few days", do you just fire that person? Pep talks don't seem to work. It's like some people thought this was just going to be a garage band and now that we found that we are instantly popular and can pretty much write our own ticket as far as how successful we want to be (locally), they don't want to take it seriously and put forth the effort.. maybe for fear of failure? I don't know. Anyway we all have good day jobs and none of us want to quit our day jobs.... but some of us want to be as good of a "2 or 3 gigs a month" local band as possible. Do you just get rid of the people who don't share the vision? Ugh personnel problems are the WORST! Sad

Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 2:33 pm

A few things come to mind that might help ya out,,,
ive been in and out of bands for about 20 years now...and if there is one thing that is a given...there is always that one person who wants to make all the decisions....
this to me is a no-no, unless you have signed on a manager....which is recommended if you plan on gigging frequently....
No matter who owns all the equipment or who writes all the songs...a "BAND" should be looked at as a "Band Of Brothers" in order to produce good music, there must be harmony within the ranks.
and the only way to do that is to have everyone be included in everything.
As far as the music.......always have more songs than the standard set list will require at any gig......more songs the better in my book,
reason is.....diversity will get you more gigs than not, this way you are not stuck playing a specific type of bar,club etc....
always learn the new stuff.....and your idea about having the songs picked by the other band members is good, but also include, that, each person will have at least an x amount of songs on the set list that they pick,,,,,this way there wont be any hard feelings, like.....why did "Jim" get three songs picked and I only 1 etc...etc...
you get the idea....
hope this helps......

Posted: Wed Sep 13, 2006 2:38 pm

P.S.
If ya have someone in the band that systematically doesnt want to play because they are tired the next day...etc....move on to someone else,,,,yes...get rid of them...unless you are just playing for the hell of it, then it doesnt matter, but if ya want to be a successful band and gigging and touring etc...then by all means, send them packing,
this is exactly why I quit the band thing,,,,,,too much drama from crybabies...lol Smile

hopefully someday i might get in with the right bunch of fellows and rock the world...until then....................................................................

Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 8:34 am

ditto...........

one more thing, if you do find the right people for your band and are writing good material and giging.....YOU MUST STICK TOGETHER.....of course there is going to be disagreements, but you got stick it out when you have something positive happening. It's so hard to find the right people who share the same vision..............keep on!

peace. . . . .

Posted: Thu Sep 14, 2006 12:35 pm

Erick!......you hit the nail on the head bud..... "It's so hard to find the right people who share the same vision..............keep on!" when ya wrote that.....
I have suffered so many times from band sh*t that it isnt funny..........but i totally agree with ya buddy!!!..............good luck!! and rock on!!

Posted: Wed Jan 17, 2007 12:01 pm

I know ths thread is old but I needed to add my tuppence worth
I put my band togerher about two years ago after many failed attempts
started with a Drummer then found someone for bass
The guy on drums was very creative contributing massively to the feel of the songs as well as working with me lyrically too.. then suddendly he just couldn''t be arsed to turn up for gigs and rehearsals which made a mockery of all the effort we had put in

the moral ....?Be prepared for disappointment but NEVER give up

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 7:32 pm

i agree with EVERYTHING they said up there^^^

let me tell you about my band., we have 4 members

John - vocals/guitars
Evan - guitars
Joshua (me) - bass/covocals
anthony - drums

we split the work evenly, and because of that we have become a family, were almost always together. and we dont argue, weve been friends since what jk (thats over 16 years)

me i write the lyrics and book gigs
anthony does all the tech stuff, including recording
john he writes the guitarlines for the songs
evan writes melodies which he plays

evan and john also get the public hyped about our songs and so everything really evens out in the end, and we are closer for it, and when i have trouble finding a part to a song for writing, i just bring the stuff i have already to either of the other band members

ubw newbie Joined: Mar 27, 2007 Posts: 6

yeah you know you never want to get rid of someone in the band because they are your friend, youve been together a long time, whatever it may be...

you just need to tell them whats going on and how you feel. They need to know everyone wants to go foward and put in the time and the effort and the commitment to being successful, because its not easy unless you are 100% about it.

If they can't understand where you're coming from on that then u need to find a new person to fill that roll that can bring more to the table.

Posted: Sun Apr 01, 2007 9:48 pm

this is about the same as what i was going to say with regard to the one member you mentioned and gunner put it well. . at a certain point you have to ask yourself and that individual if they are really in it to turn it into something bigger or if it's just a hobby. you guys should definitely encourage that member to figure out how serious he is and what being serious entails, or he'll continue to be a burden.

i also have to agree with gunner that having one person make all the decisions is a bad thing. it always leads to trouble.

and as a band, i think xcoremusic's example of how they manage their band is a good, healthy way to make sure that you're as productive as you can be and everyone shares in the triumphs and failures. maybe you don't have to breakdown the songwriting tasks down as they do, since it might not fit the way you write songs together as a band. making sure that everyone takes part in the more mundane tasks of being in the band is crucial. everyone has to keep in mind that you have to work as a team to get anywhere. and as for the set list issue, just come up with several good set lists comprised of songs that go well together and just rotate through them. this way you end up going through all of your material and everyone always has songs on there that they really like and really don't.

sorry that this is the longest post ever. i'm very wordy. yet another reason as to why i should never be put in a decision making position. this is an old thread, so i'm sure that you've sorted things out by now, but it's a topic i'm sure that just about everyone on here can identify with.

Band leadership, drama, getting sh*t done

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