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RiCterMan
ubw luminary
Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Location: Madison, OH
Posts: 742
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| Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 12:45 am |
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This is a poem I wrote while I was on my trip to visit friends. I threw it together in ten or fifteen minutes, and it's simply how I was feeling the whole time I was there. Read the words (if you want).
"Air"
I miss the breeze,
but I don't miss the wind.
I'm loving the calm.
-Ease so far below skin.
I live for the moments.
They come and they go.
For now it's all even.
-The steadiest flow.
-Furious fracturing.
-Leveling woes.
-Those faces of weariness.
-Those faces not shown.
They've melted away.
-Fallen down. I'm in air.
The wind left behind,
as I breathe without care.
-Clouds in my sky,
but so peaceful and sparse.
Nothing feels better
than this lack of what's harsh.
So, I'm here in this warmth,
and I think of the sea,
cause' I feel like I'm floating
without wind; need no breeze.
EnD
In case you're wondering, the breeze = the peace I've been feeling, here at home. The wind = Loneliness, stagnancy, ridicule, etc., also at home. Last, air = a far greater peace that I was feeling, while I was away from home. Feedback is welcome here, as it always is. Later. |
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hereafter
ubw rookie
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
Posts: 133
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| Posted: Sat Aug 20, 2005 10:57 pm |
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wow. this is some great stuff you got here. i love poetry and this is just really good i loved reading it. the words just really spoke to me.
I no that you like explaining yoru stuff but and i have no problem with that really becsuse i tend to do it aswell, but with something like this try to leave the reader wondering. that way they come up with their own interpertation.
but anyway really good job man, you should write some more poems and put them up. |
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RiCterMan
ubw luminary
Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Location: Madison, OH
Posts: 742
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| Posted: Sun Aug 21, 2005 10:41 pm |
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Thanks much, man! I actually wrote a second part to this yesterday, though I never intended to do that, when I wrote the first. I'm gonna' post that in about a minute.
I've decided to call these two poems, "The Spectrum" (Part 1: "Air", and Part 2: "Wind"), because they are related, though they describe two different feelings. Check it out if you want to. -Same goes for everybody else. Now, let's all eat some ham... (<J/K> -Wait;... what?)  Later! |
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