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artificialsweetener
ubw newbie
Joined: Aug 05, 2005
Location: indiana
Posts: 40
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| Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2005 4:24 pm |
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my friends seem to like this one cuz they say its something that hits close to home for alot of people...then again my friends are alcoholics, haha...whats YOUR opinions?? and does anyone have a better idea for a title??
waking up next to you was
looking into empty eyes
so different from the ones
that stared into my soul last night
and i didnt know what to say
so i just moved onto the floor and cried
each time it just gets harder to believe
that its happening to me again
cant i ever do anything right?
and the awkwardness is suffocating
as i just keep eyeing the door
questions racing through my head like
how many girls have been me before?
but i dont dare open my mouth
if i did, i'd only be ignored
i gave my heart to you, only you
is this my f**king reward?
these eggshells that we walk upon
are really just shards of glass
from the broken bottles of vodka
left over from the night thats passed
another useless promise to myself
that i will never do this again
temporary satisfaction- the entrance ramp
to a life of emptiness
but the chemicals will go to my brain
they'll do their job and dull this pain
and they wont speak words to deceive
and i can count on them to never leave
they have no secrets behind the smiles
but i can live like this for only awhile
this is who i am today
broken, is this how i'll stay? |
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RiCterMan
ubw luminary
Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Location: Madison, OH
Posts: 742
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| Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 12:34 am |
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Ok... I'm confused as to why you asked for title suggestions, but I'm only saying that cause', for me that is one the funnest parts!!!  Still, I have one in mind that I'll post here, and if you wanna' use it in place of the one you have, go right ahead. My suggestion is, "Broken At Dawn".
The song, I must say, is intense. I love every word. It just makes you think quite a bit, and those are exactly the kind of lyrics I like to read, write, and listen to.
-Very nice job, here. Your creativity is very visible. Cheers!
RiCterMan |
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Cerebellus
ubw newbie
Joined: Aug 04, 2005
Posts: 12
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| Posted: Sat Aug 06, 2005 12:46 am |
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Title suggestions:
"The Regret That Ensues"
Pretty self explanatory.
"From Liquor To Lust"
The aforementioned vodka must have played some part.
"Halfway Out The Door"
Took it from this:
"and the awkwardness is suffocating
as i just keep eyeing the door
questions racing through my head like
how many girls have been me before?"
If anyone has ever heard "f**k And Run" by Liz Phair (before she sold out)
it's a similar idea. |
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artificialsweetener
ubw newbie
Joined: Aug 05, 2005
Location: indiana
Posts: 40
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 3:20 pm |
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hey, thanks for all the suggestions, they're all really cool....i especially like "broken at dawn" and "the regret that ensues"...but if mine isnt bad, maybe i'll just keep it...i'm not really sure why i asked for suggestions, i feel...unoriginal using them. lol. it just seemed like my title was kind of funny while the song was pretty serious. but oh well. thanks for the compliments. this is one of the only songs i've written that i'm pretty content with, so its good to know other people like it too.
liz phair, eh? cant say i'm a big fan of hers, but then again, i've only heard her newer stuff...so i'll have to check that song out. |
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hereafter
ubw rookie
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
Posts: 133
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| Posted: Sun Aug 07, 2005 6:54 pm |
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hey good work i really enjoyed reading this. i look forward to reading more from you.
this is definalty my favourite part:
"but the chemicals will go to my brain
they'll do their job and dull this pain
and they wont speak words to deceive
and i can count on them to never leave
they have no secrets behind the smiles
but i can live like this for only awhile
this is who i am today
broken, is this how i'll stay?"
its very good i love every word |
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