Falling

ubw newbie Joined: Jul 07, 2005 Posts: 5

Falling

This awkward spiral through the air
Has taken so long, that I don't care
About the things that are on my mind
Or whether I am gonna die

I've fallen for so long right now
I can't remember just quite how
This f**ked up journey has began

Spinning and twisting through the sky
The glint of madness in my eye
Been falling now for weeks and weeks
The fires of hell rush up to greet

I've fallen for so long right now
I can't remember just quite how
This f**ked up journey has began

Through the stars and past the cloud
My memories, this mist now shrouds
Friends and family whiz right past
Names and faces I cannot grasp

I've fallen for so long right now
I can't remember just quite how
This f**ked up journey has began

I've fallen for so long right now
I can't remember just quite how
This f**ked up journey has began

I'm falling, i'm falling...(it's never gonna stop)
I'm drowning, i'm drowning...(in a pile of my own blood)
I'm running, i'm running... (away from all my ghosts)
I'm falling, i'm falling...(it's never gonna stop)

Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 12:32 pm

These are very cool lyrics. I think it's cool the way you expanded the description of the meaning of the word falling. It wasn't a lot of symbolism, but it was just enough to make it an interesting lyrical work.

The only thing I'd say to you about any minor flaws I saw (keyword=minor), is in the line where it says "has began" at the end of the sentence. It doesn't seem to make sense, the way you used those words. I would suggest an alteration that would improve upon what is already a job well done, but I don't usually like to suggest changes. I know that these are your lyrics, and it looks very personal. Even when someone's song lyrics don't seem personal to me, if I see something that could be changed, I keep my mouth shut, because if it is personal to them, they should be the one to alter it.

Know this: Anything I said here that may offend you, was not meant to. I enjoyed what you wrote, and I'm only trying to be of help. You don't need much help at all with your writing, so all in all, very good job. Cheers!

RiCterMan

ubw newbie Joined: Jul 07, 2005 Posts: 5

cheers for your advice mate, wat do u mean wen u say u dunt understand the 'has began' bit tho?

ubw rookie Joined: Jun 28, 2005 Posts: 133

hey man awesome stuff. I also dont understand what he means about changing that one part it makes perfect sense to me the way it is.
good job.

Posted: Fri Jul 15, 2005 5:43 am

I just meant it doesn't seem to fit. I don't know. I live in the U.S., and here people don't usually say has began, like that. They'd just leave out the has, and maybe add something else. I do know that in other places there are different ways of speaking/writing, so if it is different there, then I was simply a little confused by unfamiliarity. I hope that makes sense.

Another example of what I'm talking about, is how I've read the word pickles, when some people are writing in these forums. To be honest, I've never read/heard somebody use pickles like that until I came here, but it was easier for me to tell that it was something people say sometimes, in other places. I knew what you meant in the line, even though I wasn't sure why those two words were written like that. If this sounded like I was trying to insult your intelligence, I wasn't. I am not one to speak to others like I'm better than them, because I know that I'm not.

So, if it works out good in this song, then I just basically got somewhat confused, and I apologize for the error. The song is really cool, though, and I forgot to mention before, that I was able to relate to it pretty well. Cheers to you, again!

RiCterMan

Falling

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