sixtysecondminute
ubw rookie


Joined: May 27, 2005
Location: Solihull, UK
Posts: 186
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| Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 6:41 am |
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So the song has nothing to do with autumn... it did originally, but then became this:
they say that everything has 2 sides,
(well) I guess that both yours are ugly,
so cold and dark inside,
(i)t's a wonder your still alive,
crouded skies, through blissfull eyes,
theres no more room for stars tonight,
the sun has died with tearfull cries,
staining the sky with it's pain,
they say that the day is unkind,
cooking skin and blinding eyes,
even though I've cant see a thing,
you've never looked so beautiful,
crouded skies, through blissfull eyes,
theres no more room for stars tonight,
the sun has died with tearfull cries,
staining the sky with it's pain,
no more room, no more room,
no more room for me and you,
no more room, no more room,
the sky is fully booked tonight,
crouded skies, through blissfull eyes,
theres no more room for stars tonight,
the sun has died with tearfull cries,
staining the sky with it's pain,
You can check it out on our myspace, by clicking the logo in my sig.
Tom |
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Brooksy
ubw screen dweller


Joined: Oct 08, 2004
Location: The Wastelands
Posts: 1899
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| Posted: Fri May 27, 2005 2:45 pm |
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I always refuse to listen to tracks before I read lyrics so I get a basic written idea of what I'm gonna hear...
so:
The first verse has some amazing lines:
they say that everything has 2 sides,
(well) I guess that both yours are ugly,
I couldn't have thought of that one....this immediatley tells us where the song is heading, no hangin' about...
My only niggle is that:
crouded skies, through blissfull eyes,
theres no more room for stars tonight,
the sun has died with tearfull cries,
staining the sky with it's pain,
is repeated way too often.
Maybe after the second verse you could kick in with...NO MORE ROOM.....the revert back to...Crowded Skies, etc.....anyhow..just my opinion...
Good luck.
Brooksy |
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sixtysecondminute
ubw rookie


Joined: May 27, 2005
Location: Solihull, UK
Posts: 186
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| Posted: Tue May 31, 2005 5:05 pm |
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| Brooksy wrote: |
My only niggle is that:
crouded skies, through blissfull eyes,
theres no more room for stars tonight,
the sun has died with tearfull cries,
staining the sky with it's pain,
is repeated way too often.
Maybe after the second verse you could kick in with...NO MORE ROOM.....the revert back to...Crowded Skies, etc.....anyhow..just my opinion...
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I was trying to stick to the verse>chorus>verse2>chorus>bridge>chorus my guitarist laid out when I showed him the lyrics. I'll look into changin it, as the 2nd chorus overlaps the first line of the bridge... so I may consider just wiping it and leaving the 2nd verse instrumental. We'll see I guess.
Thanks for the feedback.
Tom |
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