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PatientDreams
ubw newbie
Joined: May 31, 2007
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 7:50 am |
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This song was wrote about a man and woman who's live's where change by a drunk driving incident. The acoustics are a little hollow but none the less.Thanks for the listen and critique. Cool, Peace
http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5358936&q=hi
Butterfly
Written by: Lyneva Starbuck @04/23/02 Lyneva Starbuck
You were always the strong one
Can’t count the times I’ve leaned on you
I think it’s time I repay the favor
It’s the best that I can do
I’ve screwed up so many things
Now I’m gonna lose ten years of my life
But I won’t let you imprison yourself
Don’t wanna let go but I know it’s right
Butterfly fly away, oh fly away from me
One as beautiful as you wasn’t meant for captivity
Break out of your cocoon, set yourself free
Butterfly fly away, oh fly away from me
My own bad decisions cost me you
Through it all you remained true
The one I could count on above the rest
No matter how much time passes I won’t forget
My heart says hang on tight don’t let go
My mind keeps telling me no
My conscious won’t let my heart win this
All I want is your happiness
Butterfly fly away, oh fly away from me
One as beautiful as you wasn’t meant for captivity
Break out of your cocoon, set yourself free
Butterfly fly away, oh fly away from me
Give it a listen:
http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5358936&q=hi |
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minusme
Site Admin
Joined: Jan 25, 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 3653
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| Posted: Thu May 31, 2007 10:39 pm |
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I enjoyed the tune.
The acoustic guitar is a little brite IMHO, but the riff is nice and the solo's sound nice. I like that you posted the lyrics with the song, always a plus!! The recording could use a little mixing help (bass up, vocals are clipping, etc.) Also, it seems like your straining your voice in some places and it's causing tonality issues.
Thanks for sharing, and keep it up!!! |
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PatientDreams
ubw newbie
Joined: May 31, 2007
Posts: 19
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| Posted: Sun Jun 24, 2007 2:47 pm |
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The was posted for composition purposes and I appreciated the topic area you responded to. The mixing is getting better and better with time. This song wasn't really even finished as far as dynamics and mixing go. Vocals well that's another story in itself. Vocals have no compression what so ever yet. The intended idea of our music is not really supposed to be based around my singing. I'm not a singer but someone has to do the job. Our focus has been more in the direction of Lyric publication and maybe even melody, at what ever style this is. Thanks again. The song is being resung with the new acoustic's. |
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PPB
moderator
Joined: Jun 30, 2007
Posts: 433
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| Posted: Sat Jun 30, 2007 3:36 pm |
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I'm a music lover even if i'm not really a song writter i say this is a great compo and lyrics too...produced for speakers like most of rock song...i'm more a producer than a songwritter so my word will be just listen your song with headphone to the louddest you can, the problem is dry signal is too high for my ears...but anyways i know it sounds better on speakers like this...i do like the music and the the voice, singer is really amazing with it's high tone spells and power in the voice...i would advice this more for a fiesta with people who like these spheres than a track for indoor geek listening...this is a point of vue whick is only mine...i won't beat you in your genre.I'm just an acid school tired producer but i didn't forgotten what is good or not with a record.i'm the serious guy but i share and talk, music is my karma...at your service sir !
for return by my karma at :
http://www.unsignedbandweb.com/music/play.php?mode=song_hifi&band_id=6342&song_id=21871
cheers |
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