first post.

ubw newbie Joined: Aug 09, 2006 Posts: 5

comment.

i like advice. =]

its better to reach me on AIM or MSN.

Hope Once Died

its just like the 3 times before this
results with my face in the floor
yeah, i'll be the puppet you want me to be.

i might be losing my patience, so cleverly keeping it in.

i've learned to bottle this anger
to let these things go
but you've gone one step further
you've shown me how little you've known.

i might be losing my patience, so cleverly keeping it in.

so cleverly, cleverly looking away.

cleverly fueling my fire with all your deception,

I might be losing my patience, so cleverly keeping it in.

i'll find someway to record the song. cause at first glace it's pretty vague and sort, but with the acoustic in the BG its really emotional. its deep hahahaha.

comment.

i'll post something later.

ubw rookie Joined: Aug 21, 2005 Posts: 152

Please don't make the font smaller when you write, bugs the crap outta me, i couldn't even consentrate on your lyrics because the text was distracting me. Guess that's what i get for being somewhat of a perfectionist though. I like the words a lot, the only suggestion that i have is that you find a thesaurus and look up cleverly because you used that word so much it kind of lost it's meaning. can't wait to hear the recorded version and read your next post

-Aubrii

Posted: Thu Aug 17, 2006 12:17 am

I dig the lyrics you shared here, man... They seem like they could easily be transformed by the mechanics of some good riffs. Also, I'd agree with Aubrii about the word cleverly, unless I heard audio that proved that it works repeated like that. I know that's not impossible, but I've tried to do stuff like that and it's kind of difficult. So, I'd ask for opinions after they actually hear it. Overall, very cool... Keep writing and sharing. Later!

first post.

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