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Optikal_Delusion
ubw rookie
Joined: Aug 22, 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 73
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| Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:53 am |
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This is a polished up version of some lyrics I wrote a while ago... I don't think I posted them on here...
\[Intro]
(I) spit blood from screaming so long
[Verse 1]
Screaming my throat out
They do not hear
Show them the truth
So it’s painfully clear
Screams drown in silence
They look away and deny
As life saving truth
Withers and dies
Their electric lies
Fill us with plastic dreams
That we try to build
With paper and seams
But these plastic castles
And paper forts
Will not stand
(As) long as we thought
For the fire they deny
Has intensified
We howl and scream
As the flames burn and sear
But they sip from the stream
And pretend we’re not here
[Chorus]
You just don’t feel any shame
You always misplace the blame
(Your) actions reignite the pain
Anything to maintain your reign
I will not stand here in vain
I’ll see you fall down in flames
[Verse 2]
This life is cheap
But nobody weeps
‘Cause you can choose the faith
That suits your style
You’ll take my life with
The blade of a knife
You’ll watch as I fall
In this ‘Holy of Wars’
‘Cause your God says my God
Is dead
Wave at the victims
Engulfed in the flames
You’re a ‘nice’ person
You have no shame
‘Cause you showed ‘compassion’,
More than the others
No use in trying;
It’s selection of nature
Their life is ending
But your life is sacred
[Chorus]
[Outro]
Life is hard and
The world is cold
It’s die or kill
Or so we’ve been told
We're deaf to the
Screams of the crushed
Haven’t you realized?
Why can’t you see?
This world isn’t heartless;
It’s just you and me/
Pretty short for me; just 2 verses... but they are quite longe verses, I suppose.
Any comments are appreciated.
Cronstructive criticizm would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for looking. |
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Aubrii
ubw rookie
Joined: Aug 21, 2005
Posts: 152
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| Posted: Fri Jul 21, 2006 6:51 pm |
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"Their electric lies
Fill us with plastic dreams
That we try to build
With paper and seams
But these plastic castles
And paper forts
Will not stand
(As) long as we thought "
love that part, donno why. Good work here, hope to see more |
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Optikal_Delusion
ubw rookie
Joined: Aug 22, 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 73
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| Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 4:06 am |
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Thanks very much, Aubrii 
If u have time (and if u haven't looked already) I'd really love some feedback on "Extinction Of Innocence" if you could.
Thanks again. |
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Aubrii
ubw rookie
Joined: Aug 21, 2005
Posts: 152
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| Posted: Sat Jul 22, 2006 11:51 am |
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Sure i'd love to look at it. Be sure to check out come of my work too please |
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