farewell_friends
ubw newbie
Joined: Feb 06, 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 18
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| Posted: Sat Jun 24, 2006 6:26 pm |
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Ok well i have alternate titles to this song because obviously "Wake up, Septembers over.." is just a parady of green days "wake me up wen septembers over" yea so its also called "i deal with lies better"....ok well im not that good at song titles...so help? aightyo....heres the masterpeice (i wrote it this morning  )
i've got nothing left to hide, because i've left it all behind
you just dont understand how im litteraly dieing inside
everytime i see the two of you together
you told me that we're best friends for ever
but what if i want more, and i've always wanted more
heartaches, well i dont think they can get worse
you'd always told me that you'd put me first
until somebody new...
i guess you still dont have any idea how i feel
lets put it this way: when i said i'll make this world cooporate with you, i was real
i dont think ive ever felt this way before
because everytime we part i call you, and you take away all my pain
and then you do the same
and you still do the same
heartaches, well i dont think they can get worse
you'd always told me that i would come first
but now i've left, and you've gone to
and were both dieing severly.
the truth does f**king hurt
but your lies kill me
and i'd rather die than feel the pain so please
lie away
youve still got someone new in your life
but i no theres still a big part taken by me
in your heart
my devotional love will still be there for you
because you've had me since day one
yep....ok well there it is...the songs verse is jus on 2 chords so i kinda went all bright eyes on myself. be sure to check out my other songs. btw im still pretty young so gimme some credit neways, please give me some advice becuase im starting to suck at this... |
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Aubrii
ubw rookie
Joined: Aug 21, 2005
Posts: 152
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| Posted: Sun Jun 25, 2006 10:50 am |
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| farewell_friends wrote: | Ok well i have alternate titles to this song because obviously "Wake up, Septembers over.." is just a parady of green days "wake me up wen septembers over" yea so its also called "i deal with lies better"....ok well im not that good at song titles...so help? aightyo....heres the masterpeice (i wrote it this morning )
i've got nothing left to hide, because i've left it all behind
you just dont understand how im litteraly dieing inside
everytime i see the two of you together
and you told me that we're friends for ever
but what if i want more, and i've always wanted more
heartaches, well i dont think they can get worse
you'd always told me that you'd put me first
until somebody new...
i guess you still dont know how i feel
lets put it this way: when i said i'll make this world cooporate with you, i was real
i dont think ive ever felt this way before
because everytime we part i call you, and you take away all my pain
and then you do the same
and you still do the same
heartaches, well i dont think they can get worse
you'd always told me that i would come first
but now i've left, and you've gone too
and we're both dieing severly.
the truth does f**king hurt
but your lies kill me
and i'd rather die than feel the pain so please
lie away
you've still got someone new in your life
but i know theres still a big part taken by me
in your heart
my devotional love will still be there for you
because you've had me since day one
yep....ok well there it is...the songs verse is jus on 2 chords so i kinda went all bright eyes on myself. be sure to check out my other songs. btw im still pretty young so gimme some credit neways, please give me some advice becuase im starting to suck at this... |
ok so i made a few minor changes, just to make it flow better and stuff like that. i donno if it'll fit in your song still or not but it sounds nice. i didn't have to change much so you are NOT starting to "suck at this" lol you're way better than I am. Just think positive, you're a really good writer so keep up the good work  . If you get a chance, check out my work, thanks
-Aubrii |
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