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E2
ubw newbie
Joined: May 20, 2006
Posts: 44
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 5:40 pm |
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alright i wrote this yesterday so more then likely it needs more work but tell me what you think. Oh and the title I don't know if I should keep it or not
The day I told you how I felt
It looked like I made your heart welt
You say it can’t work
Making me feel like some kind of jerk
I can’t even look at you any more
Because you make heart so sore
I feel like a fool writing this
But this is the only way I feel any bliss
You don’t even say hi
All you do is walk on by
I can’t help the way I feel about you
But you keeping letting me do what I do
I know I’m playing myself
Might as well put my heart on the shelf
~E2~
Hey if you read this please leave a comment. Tell what you think. Another thing I have 2 other poems so if you get time read them and leave a comment. Thanks |
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Aubrii
ubw rookie
Joined: Aug 21, 2005
Posts: 151
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 5:59 pm |
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aww, i like this one, you're getting better at this E  |
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E2
ubw newbie
Joined: May 20, 2006
Posts: 44
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 10:31 pm |
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thanks. So you think that sounds better then my others? Man I need to start writing more one day kind of things. |
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