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Loveless-A Poem

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E2
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Joined: May 20, 2006

Posts: 44

Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 5:58 pm Reply with quote

here's another poem. Like before tell me what you think.

Thinking our love would be forever
You were more like whatever
Your eyes only saw
All my little and big flaws
You tore my heart in two
That day I found out you were unture
I thought you would be here till the end
But you acted like my love was a trend
Now I ready to walk out the door
Becuase I can't turst you any more
Did you truly love me
Or was I to blind I could see

Well that all I have. Tell me what you think, should I add more, less, or change somethings. Hit me up
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Aubrii
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Joined: Aug 21, 2005

Posts: 151

Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 6:16 pm Reply with quote

E2 wrote:
here's another poem. Like before tell me what you think.

Thinking our love would be forever
You were more like whatever
Your eyes only saw
All my little and big flaws
You tore my heart in two
The day I found you were untrue
I thought you would be here till the end
but to you my love was just a trend
Now I'm ready to walk out the door
Becuase I can't trust you any more
Did you truly love me
Or was i just too blind to see

Well that all I have. Tell me what you think, should I add more, less, or change somethings. Hit me up


hope you don't mind, i edited it a little, just a little. Just tryin to help. Hope you like it

-Aubrii
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E2
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Joined: May 20, 2006

Posts: 44

Posted: Tue May 23, 2006 7:34 pm Reply with quote

Yo thanks alot. That sounds much better. Yo if you get time take a look at my other poem.
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Aubrii
ubw rookie
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Joined: Aug 21, 2005

Posts: 151

Posted: Wed May 24, 2006 6:27 am Reply with quote

i'll take a look at yours if you take a look at mine Smile no one ever comments on mine
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abydynge_666
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Joined: Jul 08, 2006
Location: tx
Posts: 3

Posted: Sat Jul 08, 2006 2:27 pm Reply with quote

WHY LOVE THEE WAY THAT THY WORD FOR SUCH DESTROY MY SIMPLE PEACE THAT A FRIEND ... CURROPTED Crying or Very sad
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