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Aubrii
ubw rookie
Joined: Aug 21, 2005
Posts: 151
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| Posted: Mon May 22, 2006 3:57 pm |
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bit of on the spot poetry here, constructive crit. please?:
The truth hurts
You look at the outside
but disregard the in
you care about appearence
and we know you must be perfect
You can't understand
that looks aren't everything
and you can't comprehend
that we're not all like you
Always looking at the outside
never looking in
but something's bothering you
you see it don't you?
You're starting to see
this hatred people have
you're starting to breathe
this realization that it's yours
and it's killing you isn't it?
your new found ability
to see the inside of people's hearts
you can see the hate they host
and it's killing you isn't it?
this obsession to be perfect
your need to be liked and loved
but now you see the truth
We know you don't like it
and you think it's the worst
but you're starting to see
the truth really hurts
-Aubrii |
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E2
ubw newbie
Joined: May 20, 2006
Posts: 44
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| Posted: Mon May 29, 2006 4:57 pm |
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That was deep. Hey what kind of day were you having when wrote this? But for something that was on the spot it was good. |
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Aubrii
ubw rookie
Joined: Aug 21, 2005
Posts: 151
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| Posted: Tue May 30, 2006 6:44 am |
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Thanks, yea i was having a pretty bad day when i wrote this. i was really mad at my parents so yeah. thanks for the comment |
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