washable mistakes

ubw rookie Joined: Aug 21, 2005 Posts: 151

i sit here quietly
and draw a line on my hand
let this line remind me
of the scars i could've had
and let this line remind me
of all of my mistakes
red ink sinking deep
deeper into my pores
and with it the memories
and with it the regrets
flowing through my blood stream
messing with my head
and theres a flaw
because markers are washable
but regret lingers
I wish crayola made washable mistakes

ubw newbie Joined: Mar 20, 2006 Location: Ct Posts: 12

i'm diggin it

ubw newbie Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 23

i liked it until u got to the marker and crayon part, but yea, keep up the good work

ubw rookie Joined: Aug 21, 2005 Posts: 151

yeah that part bugs me too, but i didn't know how else to word it. Do you have any ideas?

ubw rookie Joined: Aug 21, 2005 Posts: 151

ok how's this sound?

i sit here quietly
and draw a line on my hand
let this line remind me
of the scars i could've had
and let this line remind me
of all of my mistakes
red ink sinking deep
deeper into my pores
and with it the memories
and with it the regrets
flowing through my blood stream
messing with my head
this line will fade
but regret will stay
i wish Crayola
made washable mistakes

ubw newbie Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 23

i sit here quietly
and draw a line on my hand
let this line remind me
of the scars i could've had
and let this line remind me
of all of my mistakes

red ink sinking deep
deeper into my pores
and with it the memories
and with it the regrets
flowing through my blood stream
messing with my head

this line will fade
but regret will stay
i wish these mistakes would go away

[I hope this helps, im not sure. What I changed of the wording made it sound a lil to simple compared to the rest of it, but yea thats all the ideas iv got. Is this a song or poem? If its a song, im not saying to change this lyric, but in the future if its songs your writing, simplifie into something a little kid could understand, but with what information you wish, because alot of people(dont take my word on this)in my oppinion dont like to listen to stuff they have to think about to get it, they like front fwd information, so just think about it, if its just a poem keep it complicated like this one, well thats all I got. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK.]

ubw newbie Joined: May 07, 2006 Posts: 23

i sit here quietly
and draw a line on my hand
let this line remind me
of the scars i could've had
and let this line remind me
of all of my mistakes

red ink sinking deep
deeper into my pores
and with it the memories
and with it the regrets
flowing through my blood stream
messing with my head

this line will fade
but regret will stay
i wish these mistakes would go away

[I hope this helps, im not sure. What I changed of the wording made it sound a lil to simple compared to the rest of it, but yea thats all the ideas iv got. Is this a song or poem? If its a song, im not saying to change this lyric, but in the future if its songs your writing, simplifie into something a little kid could understand, but with what information you wish, because alot of people(dont take my word on this)in my oppinion dont like to listen to stuff they have to think about to get it, they like front fwd information, so just think about it, if its just a poem keep it complicated like this one, well thats all I got. KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK.]

ubw rookie Joined: Aug 21, 2005 Posts: 151

ok thank you guitar head. That sounds good but then i think i'd have to change the title. This is deffinatly a poem not a song but i like the way you ended it. I understand what you mean about not having to think about the song that much and i agree. Thanks again

-Aubrii

ubw newbie Joined: Mar 20, 2006 Location: Ct Posts: 12

IM guitar head, HEs guitar geek or sumthing,

ubw newbie Joined: May 20, 2006 Posts: 44

Hey I thought it was good. I think you should keep the ending as it is. But keep doing what you're doing.

ubw rookie Joined: Aug 21, 2005 Posts: 151

oops sorry, i get all you guitar people confused Sad

washable mistakes

UBW Resources

Music Forums

Music Forums

Partners