  |
Message |
punk_chick
ubw newbie
Joined: Jan 20, 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 9:34 pm |
 |
Her Life in blood
No one thought she?d do it
But she knew she would
Her life was full of hatred
And pain
And tears
As she cut her wrists open
Unaware of the screams
She laughed coldly
Releasing her built up pain
"It'll never happen again" she said
She'd make sure of it
But they wouldn't let her
She didn't care
"YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" she screamed in sorrow
She thought back to it
And pressed the razor in harder
Wanting to end the pain
Built up inside
And she did
She didn't care
That she had once been loved
By her one love
He mourned
And wondered why
His one true loved
Died that night |
|
|
| Back to top |
  |
|
minusme
Site Admin
Joined: Jan 25, 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 3647
|
| Posted: Sun Feb 12, 2006 10:22 pm |
|
Hi & welcome to the UBW!
Very heavy poem. I think you do a great job of staying away from the cliche's and giving more of a direct account of a deep subject matter.
Looking forward to reading more! |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
hereafter
ubw rookie
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
Posts: 133
|
| Posted: Tue Feb 14, 2006 9:47 pm |
|
this is good, i like it. pretty intense. i agree it doesnt beat around the bushes it just gets straight to the point and i like that. good job, post more when you get the chance |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|