RiCterMan
ubw luminary
Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Location: Madison, OH
Posts: 742
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 3:58 pm |
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These are some lyrics that came about because of somethin' that happened last night. It's about a new perception of me that I discovered in one of the only people I really care to have stay in my life. It's called "Invisible Insults".
"Invisible Insults"
-Rick, "RiCterMan," Strayer, fecit.
You're one of the only
genuine
individuals that I know,
but still, there's a problem...
You take offense,
though there hasn't been any
insult spoken.
(Pre-Chor.):
So you decide that it's alright
for you to show me that it pisses you off.
It pisses me off, that
you snap at the wrongful thought, that I disrespected you.
(Chorus):
It seems like you see me
in teenage belligerence.
Adolescence behind me,
but you don't notice; you notice the unsaid, leaving me captious.
(Short Interlude, envisioned)
This is a problem.
Where's the solution?
You won't hear me,
and you get offended by the false and the meaningless.
<2x:> (There is a problem.
Where's the solution?)
Why won't you listen?
(Repeat all of 1st verse)
(Pre-Chor.)
(Chorus)
(Music envisioned for Chorus, w/new words, in a different written format):
I beg you...,
please ignore your perceptions.
Please try just a little.
Don't shut me out...
Just hear me out...
Please....,
please, please, please
listen and believe.
(Music envisioned for Chorus played, w/out words)
EnD
I mapped out the guitar parts for the verse and the pre-chorus, on the trial-version of TabIt, and it sounds alright... I don't like to judge my shit though. Anyway, Take care, everyone. Later! |
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SaveYourSoul
ubw newbie
Joined: Nov 10, 2005
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Sun Dec 11, 2005 9:31 pm |
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I think the idea is there and the emotion is there. I also think that the base of the song is there. What I think you should do is re read those lyrics again and then fill it out again. I think you will find alot more maturity when you do that. Not saying your immature, but it would make that song an average to above average. Like I said I see a ton of future with that song just some twists and changes and you got yourself a goody. |
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RiCterMan
ubw luminary
Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Location: Madison, OH
Posts: 742
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| Posted: Mon Dec 12, 2005 1:41 am |
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Not to shut you out or anything, but I'm satisfied with the way it sounds as it is now. It doesn't really look all that organized written out, but the words flow nicely when it's sung out loud. Many of my songs look unorganized when read, but I feel that it's not the way it looks, but rather the way it sounds, that's important.
I hope I don't seem like a "know-it-all," because I know that I've got a lot to learn. -Everyone does. I just feel that if something musical sounds the way a person was hoping it would sound, then they should go with what they've got. That is, unless a grammatical error is present, because that can be heard. Take care, SYS.  Later! |
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