All in All

ubw newbie Joined: Nov 10, 2005 Posts: 30

Unzipping the bag
finally a conclusion
to all of my dreams
I am lying down in the morgue
getting prepared for my autoposy
all around me are devices
that will finally show someone
where my taunts lived inside of me
how they prepared me
enslaved me
and created these thousand differant personalaties

This war you thought you won
isnt over
Just because this battle is yours
doesnt mean the war is over

During the day
i am your punching bag
insult after insult
walking down the halls
i get punches spitted on and teased upon
you think your bringing my self esteem low
I cant wait untill you see
what your future has behold

This war you thought you won
isnt over
Just because this battle is yours
doesnt mean the war is over

During the night
I am the one in control
planning how each and every one
of your lives will unfold
I can see how your
tauntings will turn into pleads

This war you thought you won
isnt over
Just because this battle is yours
doesnt mean the war is over

Posted: Sat Dec 10, 2005 1:44 am

First time I read a song from a cadyver's point of view Laughing

There's a lot of frustration and anger in here, which comes across when reading.

and created these thousand differant personalaties..I would change this to and created these thousand personalities

It reads better, although reading it and performing it are totally different.

you think your bringing my self esteem low
I cant wait untill you see
what your future has behold

try this:

You think you can bring my self esteem down
Wait until you really see
What the future brings around

Just my little opinion.

Great words. Good luck.

ubw newbie Joined: Nov 10, 2005 Posts: 30

The first part i like your recommendation, the second part it sounds good with the music so I am gonna keep it, but thanks for your thoughts.

All in All

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