Optikal_Delusion
ubw rookie
Joined: Aug 22, 2005
Location: Australia
Posts: 73
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:06 pm |
 |
This is a revised version of a song I wrote many months ago.
I feel that the structure and the meanings and symbols of the verses are complete, but some of the lines are not to my liking, so any suggestions would be appreciated.
...Although, just thinking to myself, rhymes look pretty and sound poetic in text, but aren't always needed in music, so if you feel that a rhyme in the piece is not needed in your opinion or that a line where there is no rhyme needs one, please let me know.
Also, this has no chorus as such; none of the verses will be repeated when they are being sung.
Thanks.
In Your Footsteps
[Verse 1]
You carried me, first
When I was small,
Taking me to the light,
That, for you held it all
You held my hand, tight
As I learned to walk,
Leading me down the path,
That led to all your dreams
[Verse 2]
You wanted the best for me
That you could attain
And you held me close
When I was afraid
But you never understood
That I am my own
I'm not the same as you,
I am not your clone
[Verse 3]
When I was of tender years
I walked by your side
Looking up at you with awe,
With love I was blind
But now, I see your every flaw
And that this path isn’t as wonderful,
As wonderful as it seems
But, you continue dragging me
Down this path to your dreams
[Verse 4]
Can't you see you’re crushing me?
I'm spilling out of your mould
I've grown out from in your shadow,
No longer will I walk down this road
I’ve torn my hand from yours
And I turn and tell you
“You can't etch your dreams
Into my future”
Thanks for looking. |
|
|
