"Ricky Repulsive"

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 12:37 am

This was written four or five days ago. I've said before, that sometimes I write about certain topics more than once, but when I do, I try to variate the way I write them. I do that so I can try to give someone, whom I don't know, that may read the words, the ability to (possibly) enjoy them. I don't know if it works well, or not, but I know I wouldn't like to read/hear songs written about a topic repeatedly, to the point of my interest being lost. So, I'm gonna' ask that, if willing, anyone reading who's read a good amount of other lyric posts I've made, to please let me know if it's too noticeable. Any other thoughts/criticisms/ other feedback are cool too. It's called, "Ricky Repulsive".

"Ricky Repulsive"
-Rick, "RiCterMaN", fecit.

(Everything until the Pre-Chor. is part of the verse):
Running in the wind;
Never getting very far.
Shivering within;
unsure of just where to start.

Never looking back
for more than a moment.

Must not stare

Not a second to waste,
or I may be frozen.

I need repair.

(Pre-Chor.):
Everynight, when I go to sleep,
I can hear the whispers, beside my ear.
-The echoes of voices that I need to please.
What they say, disturbs me:

(Chorus):
"You're failing(!)"
"You don't care(!)"
"Excuses, excuses...(!)"
"You're failing(!)"
"You won't hear(!)"
"You're just a list, of pathetic excuses..."

(Moderately longer Interlude, envisioned)

(2nd prt. of verse, starting at the word, "never," repeats)

(Pre-Chor.)

(Double Chorus)

(Words to Bridge):
At night, the wind stays strong.
I'm never too far from the limit it places, each day,
but worst of all...,
wind combines with the whispers, beside my ears, to create a sound.

Much like a continuous scream...
-A continuous scream...
-Continuously haunting...,
taunting, and torturing...

This is all too- I don't know. f**k it.

EnD

I hope it's interesting to some people here. I know the words are kinda' sad, but that is what I was feelin' when I wrote it, and you all know about emotion in writing... Right now, nothin's bad... -Except the area where I live is gonna' get hit with a snow storm starting tommorow night. But that's not anything big: I just don't like snow much. Tonight I'm feelin' very good, and no problem is makin' me feel down. Mr. Green

So, you all take it easy, too. Later!

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 7:56 pm

Reminds me of Eyeless by Slipknot; not the words or emotions expressed but the structure: You leave alot of room for instrumental and I like that.
The lyrics themselves are succinct and well worded.
I had an immediate image conjured in my mind from the words;
I associate night with darkness and in this case confusion, a feeling of displacement.
The wind accentuates the confusion and adds unsettlemnt to the emotions.
The 'Voices' adds a disturbing element and the words they whisper even more so.
The bridge was good, but not as well written as the first part, IMO.
Not as much creativity, I think it is.
The rhyming of scream, haunting, taunting and torturing is quite good.
Now I come to the very end and possibly the point that most people will disagree with: Swearing.
Swearing can carry a great deal of emotion especially anger.
You have used it to portray giving up or ceasing to care about something frustrating.
This works, but it is so bland and boring and unimaginative. I just feel that you could come up with something better. But if you are happy with it, that is all that matters.
Just my opinion as always and it only has as much bearing on anything and anyone as you let it.
Great work overall.
Catch you later, Rick.
Cheers

Posted: Wed Nov 23, 2005 9:52 pm

Thanks a lot! Your words are always appreciated. Smile

Just to be informative, it seemed to need a last line at the end, but I didn't wanna' use filler. That's what that line may look like, but I always try hard not to, and I didn't here either. What I did was, I just practiced what I had to see if anything came out, just from feeling the emotions, and that came out. It does look bland written out, but by the very end of this song, I'm pretty much full-on into the emotions, and that's what makes it work for me.

Let me just say that you give great insight. Wink

You seem to know a lot about the stuff you say, and I like to see that in other musicians. Also, I'm not a huge slipknot fan, but I could listen to "Before I Forget" over and over again, and not get sick of hearing it- especially the bridge.... Thanks again! Later!

ubw rookie Joined: Nov 01, 2005 Posts: 67

(ergh...been a while, i'm so sorry! i'm going to fail to reply to so many messages too. Sad

I'm currently in a crisis at home.)

I can somewhat relate to this poem...maybe like nothing's good enough. I could be wrong, but that's just what i interpreted from it. I don't find it repeatitive from your other works (from what i've read a while ago). You vary your topics very well.

And Holy shit! i heard that there was a huge f**king blizzard in ohio! is everything okay over there?

Posted: Tue Nov 29, 2005 6:36 pm

lol. The blizzard missed us somehow... They were sayin' 1-3 feet was a good possibility, but where I'm at we only got around four to five inches. However, they're saying "Snow and Wind" on Friday, so that could be another day for getting a lot of snow.

Anyway, thanks for the reply. I'm glad ya' liked it. Later!

"Ricky Repulsive"

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