DamnaNefas
ubw rookie
Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Posts: 67
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 10:13 pm |
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A white shield in front of her face;
a delicate mask to protect from the wind's mace.
All the world below can see them in their strangest grace
ready to collapse but with their hands together in (an) embrace.
They've taken their wedding to the sky
with mixed feelings considered a natural high.
No, She nor her beloved husband felt ready to cry
As the world came tumbling up to say "Good-bye."
(The angels swayed by sides to say:
"Memento Muerte, Memento Muerte")
They've swallowed their pride
left guiltless and already died
This was the final joy in life's humorous ride
that always left them to feel denied.
Why have them question each other now?
They've already made their saddened vows.
It was a cemented love the world could not avoid and disavow
but only kneel down to and bow.
(And the angels swayed above to sing:
"memento mori, memento mori!")
Both faces planted deep inside the pavement's ground,
and cheap-made rings were left destroyed or never found. |
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RiCterMan
ubw luminary
Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Location: Madison, OH
Posts: 742
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 11:20 pm |
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Nice... Some parts were unbelievable to me, and others were really good, but for some reason didn't give the same effect. -Not sure why. But I love how in this, and the last one I read by you, you end the whole thing with a "slamming of the cover," of the story you created with your words. It's like some rock music, when the song is at an intense part at the end, and suddenly the music just ends after a strong, last, power chord on the guitar. You're just like, "Whoa...; That was pretty crazy."
I was wondering if you're into Edgar Allen Poe? I love his work, because of the substance he puts into it, using mystery and morbidity to create it's inner-beauty. Again, good work with the poem, and let me know about what I just asked ya'.  Later! |
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