DamnaNefas
ubw rookie
Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Posts: 67
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 4:52 pm |
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So is this the end
of your broken heart unable to mend?
Will it take a godsend
of luck
To get you back up and forsake this unholy trend?
I will only give you my hope,
although it will not cease you to mope.
I offer to free this knot in your rope,
because this is only the beggining
For you to cope.
Stop choking your mind;
It's bugging me to see you unkind.
You don't recognize the real issues here,
as though you are blind.
It is the duties of others to take anger upon,
may i remind:
When you fall you get back up
Your worries can easily be madeup
(for).
These people don't love you,
And this would be so hard if you knew,
But their motives can easily be misconstrue.
It is not how they see life,
but what images you analyze and view.
Allow this pierced heart to heal
And be ready to feel
Again.
(a lot of the rhyming probably seems forced. I feel rushed right now, but anyway...I wrote this because of my annoyance with people who inflict pain on their own bodies. It's also about other stuff...but i don't feel like typing much. Sorry! ) |
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RiCterMan
ubw luminary
Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Location: Madison, OH
Posts: 742
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 11:10 pm |
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-Just some friendly advice: Don't ever rush your writing. I've found that letting the words arise out of writing without a specific time limit, makes the end-result much more gratifying.
But I need to tell you about what I think of this that you have posted. If you didn't say that you were rushing it along a little, I would have never known. It's flow is wonderful, and you just wrote it in a very interesting manner.
"Allow this heart to heal
And be ready to feel
again"
I really like that last part a lot. Great job, Jessica!  Later! |
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