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hereafter
ubw rookie


Joined: Jun 28, 2005
Posts: 133
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 12:25 am |
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this one i wrote today with my little brother. he was walking around singing so i grabbed my guitar and played for him to sing to and i was shocked at teh stuff that came out of his mouth so i grabbed a pen and turned it into this. oh and hes 6.
"Dream Pretty"
Close your eyes
And shut your mouth
Don’t forget to dream about me
But when you scream
I won’t be there to hold your hand
I can’t hold your hand
Dream dream, pretty pretty
I’ll make your blue eyes bleed
This is all just a broken lullaby
Screamed for the broken heart
Dream, dream pretty, pretty
Sleeping alone you suffer
And I scream your lullaby
My hand on your chest
Measuring the rise and fall
Of what is left to dream
Is there enough time left
For one last dream with you
Under the sun set I break the skin
Maybe now there will be more space
So perfectly still
You’re trembling on the inside
And I’ve tried so hard
But I can’t feel the pain |
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RiCterMan
ubw luminary


Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Location: Madison, OH
Posts: 742
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 9:08 am |
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I'm not sure how to the quote button correctly, but you said, "so i grabbed a pen and turned it into this. oh and hes 6."
-So, when you say you turned it into this, that means you made some revisions to it, right? If so, was what he sang very close to this? Again, if so, that is kind of incredible. It's very good. Later, Chase! |
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smili
moderator

Joined: Sep 11, 2004
Location: Nashville TN
Posts: 1225
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| Posted: Sun Nov 06, 2005 9:45 pm |
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quite a vocabulary for only 6 yrs |
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hereafter
ubw rookie


Joined: Jun 28, 2005
Posts: 133
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 12:44 am |
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i suppose i need to explain more. he obviously didnt come up with every single word. i took his ideas and molded them into this. i added the descriptive words or what ever you wanna call them. plus the last two verses were all me. the first two, he came up with most of it. |
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RiCterMan
ubw luminary


Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Location: Madison, OH
Posts: 742
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 4:22 am |
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Still good for a six year old, man. In other words... Quick! Call up the talent scouts, so he can be a mini-rock star! J/K. Take it easy, Chase. Later! |
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DamnaNefas
ubw rookie


Joined: Nov 01, 2005
Posts: 67
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| Posted: Mon Nov 07, 2005 5:04 pm |
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That's one crazy kid...weird stuff. Great work...really, it is. I didn't read your description at the top before reading the poem (or lyrics?) but it sounded like someone older would have come up with the theme for it. I'm surprised. |
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