"Floor 21" (In my opn., my best)

Posted: Fri Nov 04, 2005 4:27 pm

I just finished revising this less than twenty minutes ago, and I wrote it just before that. I don't like to judge how good the quality of the lyrics I write are, after they've been written, but this time I believe I've written my best work. It's called, "Floor 21". It's about the oppurtunities I had, before, to do things I can't seem to do now, and how they didn't work out. The medaphor is probably obvious. I based it on the dizzy feeling I get sometimes after getting off of an elevator. This one will probably have some parts unanswered, when read, but if you want to ask, I'm cool with that. Smile

There's some symbolic wordings intertwined, and that's what I mean by unanswered parts. Smile

With this one, more than ever, I would really appreciate feedback. So, if you enjoy it, or find anything that would merit a response, please leave one. Thanks!

"Floor 21" *Rick, "RiCterMaN," Strayer, Fecit.

-Enter the open doors,
into the vacant space.
-Wait to translocate.
I make my selection.
-Get ready to climb...
Doors close; I'm in.
I'm not afraid.
What's to fear?
-Beginning to lift up, to the broad height.

The numbers flash
before my eyes.
They come to pass,
like moments in time.
What could ever make things go wrong?

(General version of Chorus):
-Expecting a marvelous
outcome beyond, levels I've known.
Held here, I hope for it
to become the setting I'd like to be shown.
The motion is set, and I feel it.
-Far from the first floor already.
Suddenly, something odd occurs,
but hold on...

After a "seven smile,"
I feel an altered state.
Ease falls out of place.
-Change in the movement.
It doesn't feel right...
Doors open up;
My body sways.
I'm unclear.
There's a liquid sensation inside.

The numbers that tracked
the sustained ride
came to relax,
as the bell chimed.
On the twentieth floor,
I stepped out, into result of decision.

(Slightly Revised Chorus):
Expecting a marvelous
outcome beyond, levels I've known.
Held there, I hoped for it
to become the setting that I've yet to be shown.
The motion is set, and I feel it.
-Far from the first floor already.
Suddenly discouraged and perturbed,
without warning, unsteadiness...

(Short Interlude, envisioned)

(Bridge begins. -Same music continued + non-verbal vocals. -Followed by return of actual words):
I found the strength
to enter, again, this vacant space.
I await the arrival...
of floor twenty-one.

(General version of Chorus, w/revision to last line):
Expecting a marvelous
outcome beyond, levels I've known.
Held here, I hope for it
to become the setting I'd like to be shown.
The motion is set, and I feel it.
-Far from the first floor already.
Suddenly, something odd occurs:
I sense that I'm better prepared.

(Words to the Outro):
The bell is about to chime once more.
I'll walk through the same doors I did before,
but find a difference on the
twenty-first floor.
-The twenty-first floor...
-The twenty-first floor...
Will I reach heights that I, can adore?
I hope...

EnD

I'm not gonna' ramble on, like I usually do in these threads. I hope some of anyone who reads likes it. I'll be around, somewhere. Smile

Later!

ubw rookie Joined: Nov 01, 2005 Posts: 67

Are you turning 21?

I like the whole metaphor, very creative.
And once again, nice job! I do adore some other lyrics of yours just a bit more than these (it's the subject that grabs me), but i love knowing a writer's favorite work (it defines them the most).

Posted: Sat Nov 05, 2005 12:58 am

-Sure am. November 25th is my b-day. But I'm gonna' have a summer party next year, instead of anything now. It's always cold on my b-day, so I can wait this time. Smile

Also, I'm about to edit this a little. There's some tiny errors I changed, and also a big one right at the beginning. -Elevate can't be used the way I used it. But I'm glad you liked this one. Later!

"Floor 21" (In my opn., my best)

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