A "freewrite" For fun

ubw newbie Joined: Oct 06, 2005 Posts: 9

This is one was just for fun. I wrote this one lastnight in class Please jus gimme some feedback, Thanks

PUNCHLINES

I GOT SO MANY PUNCHLINES, I LEAVE THE PAPER BRUISED,
AND YOU WITH YOUR HEAD LOOSE
AND ONE EYE OPEN,

HOPING I DON’T LEAVE YOU STUCK AND CAN’T MOVE,
LIKE I LEFT YOU WITH NOTHING BUT A PAIR OF GUMSHOES,
WITH NO CLUES

BUT YOU’RE NO SHERLOCK, BUT IF YOU COME AROUND,
I’LL BE SURE TO KEEP YOU SURELY LOCKED, WHILE I KEEP YOUR SHIRLY LOCKED ON MY COCK

MOVE ME? I THINKS NOT. I SEE YOU HALL – IN - ASS, WHILE I SEE YOU ALL, U-HAUL – N – MY “GABS,” THEY CALL GIFTS

LIFTS LIKE A SHOP, WITH NO ALARM, I DIDN’T MEAN NO HARM,
WHILE I TOOK YA GURL, AND SHE GOT TO KNOW MY 3RD ARM,

FARMBOY FROM THE HOME OF THE HEELS, RALEIGHWOOD TO HOLLYWOOD, I STAY POSTIN BELLS,

OF HAY, AND YOU THOUGHT I MISPELLE”S” THE WORD, BUT HEY? MY VISION AIN’T BLURRED AND MY SPEECH AIN’T SLURRED,

I JUST TAKE THIS BEAT AND LET IT MOVE, TO GROVE AND SOOTHE MY SOUL, LISTEN TO SOME R&B AND JAM TO THAT ROCK –N – ROLL

ROLL OUT THE BARREL, AND SHOOTIN THOSE FISH,
IS THE ONLY WAY YOU EAT,
I’M A MAN OF PATIENCE WHO BAITS HIS HOOKS WITH JABS,
AND THEN USES THE HEAT

YOU WOULDN’T KNOW A HOTLINE, IF THAT SHIT YOU HEARD STARTED WITH 1-800, YOU LAUGH AT THA RIDDLE, OR WHAT US POETS CALL CONUNDRUMS

AND JUST LIKE A CONDUM, I’M GOING TO WRAP THIS UP,
BEFORE YOU GET f**ked

© A FICK’S FIX PRODUCTION

ubw newbie Joined: Nov 04, 2005 Posts: 2

first off you started out fairly Ok
Then you started to talk about dick which makes me think your gay

whats with your name a real shadow is black
I'll make this clear....your name doesn't belong in rap

How are you talking about firearms when you'd never squeeze
I got two fists and some spitfire to make you white skin bleed

See I used to be all like you
Never fully understanding the consquence of a certain view

I have skills today unlike your untalented ass
If you were in a hip hop class you'd fail to pass

Damn your not even a cityslicker
Your just a farmboy from the sticks whos a telephone stripper

Get a new name and practice your lines
And maybe you can beat me next time

later Y

ubw rookie Joined: Jun 28, 2005 Posts: 133

hahahaha oh man burn. hahaha you jsut got served dude.

ubw rookie Joined: Nov 01, 2005 Posts: 67

damn, dude. =/

ubw newbie Joined: Oct 06, 2005 Posts: 9

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
first off you started out fairly Ok
Then you started to talk about dick which makes me think your gay

whats with your name a real shadow is black
I'll make this clear....your name doesn't belong in rap

How are you talking about firearms when you'd never squeeze
I got two fists and some spitfire to make you white skin bleed

See I used to be all like you
Never fully understanding the consquence of a certain view

I have skills today unlike your untalented ass
If you were in a hip hop class you'd fail to pass

Damn your not even a cityslicker
Your just a farmboy from the sticks whos a telephone stripper

Get a new name and practice your lines
And maybe you can beat me next time
--------------------------------------------------------------------------

i didn't post to have you write me,
you responded to my lines,
then that must mean you like me. fag

Yea, I mean NO.
thats right there must be a meanin
name that i can't follow,
your name is lame,
like your dames knowledge of my name
is your only calim to fame

all i know is that if i suck,
then your faggot ass must swallow
hollow tip cuz i'm trained to kill
at will time will stop from one shot
and then your fate will be sealed
one shot one kill is my thrill

i see through all views,
walked in your shoes,
decided that shit was old news,
now i'm laughin cuz it's ego
thats gettin bruised

no need to practice
when i know imma win,
if its a battle you want,
next time you should bring a friend

ubw newbie Joined: Nov 04, 2005 Posts: 2

Your raps are way unorganized and out of order
Mine are clean while you just cut corners

Me bringing a friend would only hurt you
I think I hear your mom calling its past your curfew

What’s the dame approach? You’re seriously out of date
You about 1000 years.... too late

You walked in my shoes I think not
I wear sneakers while you wear high heels and shop

Stop with all this gun talk. Wanna be thug
You write like a crack fiend that needs drugs

Come on. Shape up. This isn't even a challenge
Like I said before you have no talent

Don't even try to respond. Im just better then you
face it you Lost Dude

A "freewrite" For fun

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