My1DesIRIs2BEe10
ubw newbie
Joined: Sep 12, 2005
Location: Chandler AZ
Posts: 4
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| Posted: Mon Oct 03, 2005 11:31 pm |
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You close your eyes and wait to die
Remembering your last breath and your final cry.
You said, "I dont want to live,
I dont want to be,
I dont want to feel..."
Then you let go of the wheel
And now the blood is flowing
And now your love is leaving
Your lips, they taste so sweet
So then I closed your eyes and waited to die...
I said, "I dont want to live,
I dont want to be,
I dont want to feel,
Please God... for the life of me.."
I live in this world of Hell.
For your love, I sold my soul
Torn, and locked inside my cell
Lost, falling down the black hole...
We said, "We dont want to live,
We dont want to be,
We dont want to fee,
I just want you to hold on to me..."
I see the walls here are cracking
I feel the hate here is comming
I know the death of you is nearing
I fear the air from my lungs is leaving.
You said, "I just want to live,
I just want to be,
I just want to feel,
I just dont want you to let go of me..."
The blood is on my hands,
Your tears are on my shoulder,
The knife is on the floor,
They weight is on my back.
I said, "I'm not gonna live,
I'm not gonna be,
I just want to feel,
So please just remember me..."
Please, Just remember me...
Just remember me,
Through your life, and through the struggle
remember me...
When I said, "Go on and live,
Find out what you'll be,
Remember how it feels,
Please just come and visit me..."
ŠJared Lander, 2005 |
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hereafter
ubw rookie
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
Posts: 133
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| Posted: Tue Oct 04, 2005 10:23 pm |
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i liked this alot. it had a good flow and i liked the way it was written.
You close your eyes and wait to die
Remembering your last breath and your final cry.
thats my favorite part, personally i would have put it at the end but thats just me. keep it up and post more man. |
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