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artificialsweetener
ubw newbie
Joined: Aug 05, 2005
Location: indiana
Posts: 40
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| Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 11:03 pm |
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meh...i've had a major writer's block lately. i managed to come up with this, but its kinda.....ehhh. whatever. not my favorite. but writing it made me feel better...so at least it did its job.
this is all my fault, i'll be the first one to admit that
i was young and stupid, but its no excuse
for the way i made you feel, broken and used
the same feeling thats all i've ever known
every day of my miserable life
and every meaningless night
spent with anyone but you
no one could ever be you
no one else even comes close
you're all that matters
and every time i hear the dial tone
my heart just f**king shatters
you would see i'm different now
but you won't hear me now
i cant get near you now...
just tell me that you're happy this way
and i'll get out of your life
tell me that you dont come home to her
wishing just a little bit
that it was still me next to you at night
and i'll say goodbye...
i'll drive down your street tonight, its covered with ice
slam my foot on the gas and i'll close my eyes
its the only way i can promise that i wont try
to find my way back and ruin your new life
i hope you'll be happy, i mean that with everything that i am
and every little part of me that you still have
with all my foolish pride left in the past
you deserve the world on a silver platter
you deserve a perfect life
i don't deserve you, i don't even matter
you've showed me that tonight
you would know i'm lost without you now
but you won't see me now
could you even believe me now?
you wont let me come home
you'd rather let me fall
but please just dont blame yourself
i know that this is all my fault... |
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hereafter
ubw rookie
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
Posts: 133
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| Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2005 11:50 am |
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this is pretty good, i have to say its not yoru best but it is still really good.
"i'll drive down your street tonight, its covered with ice
slam my foot on the gas and i'll close my eyes"
I love that part. very very good |
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deltarain
ubw rookie
Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Location: In my room, listening to loud music, playing guitar.
Posts: 132
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| Posted: Sun Sep 25, 2005 8:23 pm |
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*cries* sad... As an extreme profanity user, I can honestly say that I'm not against cussing in songs.. The one spot you used it though, it just doesn't seem to fit. "My heart just f**king shatters" just seems too hard- if you kinda know what I mean.. |
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artificialsweetener
ubw newbie
Joined: Aug 05, 2005
Location: indiana
Posts: 40
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| Posted: Tue Sep 27, 2005 10:26 pm |
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thanks to both of you, yeah i know its not my best...i was really pissed off at my ex-boyfriend that i got in a fight with the night before and i didnt sleep all night...so i wrote this while half asleep and in math class just to...unwind i guess. thanks for the honesty, i like when people actually tell me what im doing wrong, lol. maybe it is kinda too harsh there, i guess i was just mad so i felt like the word f**k should be in there somewhere? haha |
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