Flatulent Forum . .

Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 3:13 pm

it's 5:05 pm est and I just ripped one . . decibel level = 5 on a scale of 1-10 . . . stink level = 2 . . .relief level = 10 . .

can you top it??

Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 3:19 pm

You should record it and build a track out of it.

Build a good rhythm track, sample the fart, put it through a vocoder and make a tuneful solo from it!

Very Happy

you could call it Break like the wind

I cant top it, but one of my workmates could.

He went into the lavatory in the office where I work with a case of diahroea, and as he went to sit down, farted and pebble dashed the toilet bowl.

Worst thing was, he never noticed, and never cleaned it up, leaving it for the next unlucky colleage (me) to find.

I pebbledashed it too.... in vomit!

Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 4:55 pm

LOL! . . . .breakin the wind . .yes I like it . . .

pebble dashed ehh? . . Shocked

Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 8:48 pm

I hear your nephew is the champ, hehehehe

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 12:55 pm

19:41pm GMT
Was taken totally by suprise whilst watching TV with the family.

Concensus of opinion put the scores as follows

Decibel = 5
Stink = 4
Satisfaction = 8

However I think i might add a new category, on the basis that I managed a 3 note melody ... so ...

Melody = 4

Even though Stink and melody were equal scores ......

.... I have been dismissed out of the room ..

.... .. which is why I am sitting here on my own typing this. Mr. Green

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 1:59 pm

when i say pebble dashed, i mean sprayed. he sprayed the entire toilet bowl with faeces.

pebble dashing is a form of spray painting but the paint is mixed with small pebbles to give a rough effect. i think?

Razz

Posted: Thu Sep 22, 2005 5:16 pm

at 7:04 pm EST a slow gurgler was released

decibel = 3
stink = 4.5
relief = 5 and yes to seVven for a melody catagory
melody = 2
duration = 3 to 4 seconds . . .hehehehe

yeah I knew what you meant by pebble dashed, just never heard the term though . . lol

Shocked

ubw newbie Joined: May 14, 2005 Location: Sweden Posts: 23

Speaking of farts.....farting preachers, anyone?

http://www.miggy.net/multimedia/preacher.htm

"It was like the Lord spoke right through me then" Laughing

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 6:23 am

9:05am GMT
Victoria Street

Decibel: 0 .. (I was walking outside at the time, so I could'nt tell) Rolling Eyes

Stink: 0 .. (outside so I could'nt tell)
Relief: 10 .. (immense releif) Very Happy

Melody: -2 .. (I could have, but I did'nt .. hence minus score)
Duration: 3 .. ( could have been a nine - lol - three in very quick succession) Wink

I am guessing the Pebbledashing would have been preceded by a .. Decibel 10 with a Duration 1 and a Stink 10 .... Shocked

this would have been powerfull enough to create the pebbledashing pattern ?? ... but we're probably progressing into a different Genre ..??

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 9:32 am

LMAO !!!!!! . . hey seVven, I like that dance guy you have there . .
could that be called the Fart Dance ??? Question

. . . now beer farts are in a class all it's own . .

ubw newbie Joined: May 14, 2005 Location: Sweden Posts: 23

What about juiciness? That's usually what's on my mind whenever my colon has something to tell the world.

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 11:24 am

i once heard something about farmers somewhere in the world were possibly gonna get taxed on how much fartage their cows let out, because of emissions laws.

They were going to have to fit all of the cows with fartometers in order to claim the tax.

Very Happy

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 1:23 pm

Rofl ... I never thought of that Guitarman.
He's .. Break dancing .....( breaking the wind) ... and building up to a full house (all 10's)

I see you're Drinking a Pint of the Black Stuff there ..... Guinness.
Guinness farts are in a class of their own .....
Beer Farts ..... always followed by a good satisfying big beery belch.

...@ Banna bein ..... you'll have to check with Guitarman for extra categories ... but I would put that under 'Satisfaction' heading ... ie: a Wet one ... would give less satisfaction.

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 1:47 pm

Not sure if this one counts..... happened last Tuesday. Question

15:45pm GMT
Fujitsu Building.... In the Lift ... Floor 3 and heading up to foor 5

Decibel: 4 (sounded like a 8 in the confined space)

Stink:: 5

Relief: 1 ... as it was'nt really neccessary - see below.

Satisfaction: 10 .... I dared myself to do it ... took a gamble that no-one would be waiting to get in at floor 5.... Unfortunately ... two people were waiting .... I rushed out holding my nose saying " Would you believe it ... some bugger's just farted in there" .....

Melody: a feeble 1

Ok ..... the big question ...... has anybody LIT one .... ??

Posted: Fri Sep 23, 2005 2:35 pm

they all count . . .

my nephew lit one once, I wasn't there but heard it made quite the flash . .hehehe
we were at the casino last year and I cut an sbd with a stink level of 4 and he just laughed me off and said "that was nothing dude" and proceeded to melt the chips at the crap table . .lol, I'm not kidding man, it was a 10 in the stink meter, it was so bad you could see it . . . you know how when you look at the pavement on a real hot day and you can see the waves of heat rising . .

. . but YES of course elevator farts count because they cause quite the buzz

. . who did it ??

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