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alone
ubw newbie
Joined: Sep 18, 2005
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2005 9:07 am |
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I am 15 years old...i love writting lyrics...but i havnt read them to many people...i would like your opinion please.
Dream Beauty
Wondering in a hibernal dream
Purple seamed to be a king
Pillars climbing up in the sky
my reflection on the purple pond, a loud cry
Then she appeared...so beautyfull
everything fades away only me her so mercyfull
White faced me next to her
our lips determined the reason i was there
Teared from my embrace, she met the pond in silence
i then returned to reality having no guidance
Refrain:
Plunging into the darkness of my dreams
Fading away all that is known
Another world it seems
when diving into the unknown
Cold&Forgotten
Lurking in a thick cloud of smog
Searching for the salvation of light
Feeling tired, heavy as a wet log
echoing voices "you were not ready for this flight"
(ref)
Living in hell to reach for heaven
bleeding the blood of a thousand men,
but when the days strike seven
i am all left behind again
(ref)
Before i did, it reached me
at last lights salvation,
but now! everyone has left for another journey
oh god why to abandon yout creation?
Refrain:I just reached for the sky
could fate's heart be so rotten?
Can you now hear despairs cry?
I just stand there cold&forgotten
Note: These lyrics are for songs we make with my band thats why it has a refrain. |
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zeo211
ubw newbie
Joined: Aug 22, 2005
Posts: 26
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| Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 7:57 pm |
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they sound fine..idk really know much about it so dont really ask me..i just make the music. |
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hereafter
ubw rookie
Joined: Jun 28, 2005
Posts: 133
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| Posted: Tue Sep 20, 2005 8:09 pm |
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these are really good, i like them.
"our lips determined the reason i was there"
and
"Living in hell to reach for heaven"
Those lines are my favourite, very very good. keep it up. |
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alone
ubw newbie
Joined: Sep 18, 2005
Posts: 3
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| Posted: Wed Sep 21, 2005 8:17 am |
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Thank you guys...u are really helping me! thanks |
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over-drive
ubw newbie
Joined: May 22, 2005
Location: Rotherham
Posts: 30
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| Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 11:49 am |
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i enjoyed them and would realy like to here them with music i bet it would sound great keep it up  well done |
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deltarain
ubw rookie
Joined: Aug 18, 2005
Location: In my room, listening to loud music, playing guitar.
Posts: 132
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| Posted: Mon Oct 10, 2005 12:32 pm |
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| zeo211 wrote: | | they sound fine..idk really know much about it so dont really ask me..i just make the music. |
haha- she's right. i haven't really gotten a start on any riffs or tabs or anything.. I'm a slowpoke.. Have done some lyrics though- they're all on this site, somewhere or other... I rather like yours, alone. Given I liked the second lyrics better- they had more emotion and feeling to them in my opinion. They're both still quite nice. Congrats! |
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