"R.G.B. Panoramic"

Posted: Wed Jul 13, 2005 11:32 pm

Hey All,

This one seems to be more symbolic than any of my past attempts, but I'd like to know how you guys feel about it. This may sound immature, but this song is kind of about how I had major trouble, fitting in during school, and it's mainly about how cruel some, young children can be to other children. I just tied in how I felt, as well. I don't dwell on this subject; it's just self expression based on my recollections. My thoughts & attitudes are no longer "self-defeating," due to the effects of that part of my life (though I'm still slightly affected.) The two added lines to the Chorus, in some parts of the song, state that exact point. This is, "R.G.B. Panoramic"... -hope you'll enjoy it.

(R.G.B.=ROY G BIV=Color Spectrum=Red, Orange, Yellow, Green, Blue, Indigo, Violet- In case, anyone was wondering.)

"R.G.B. Panoramic"

(Intro w/only vocals):
Memories in black and white,
absorbed in colors not as bright
as they should be.
They could be absolutely stunning.

(1st verse):
You enjoyed the gradual fade
of the pigments that were displayed.
You tainted me.
The painting of me was slowly running.

(Pre-Chor.):
I've only just begun
to near a restoration.
I'll never be exactly
the same as I started out.

(Chorus w/out addition):
You diluted
with your vibrancy.
I know that it's all black and white now.
You laughed at my stride.
I ran so far behind.
My colors bled far from the finish-line.

(with a band, an interlude would go here)

(1st verse repeats):
You enjoyed the gradual fade
of the pigments that were displayed.
You tainted me.
The painting of me was slowly running.

(2nd run Pre-Chor.):
I've only just begun
to near a restoration.
I'll never be exactly
the same as I started out.

(Chorus w/addition):
You diluted
with your vibrancy.
I know that it's all black and white now.
You laughed at my stride.
I ran so far behind.
My colors bled far from the finish-line,
and though they'll never be just right,
they're coming back strong.

(Bridge):
Looking back,
I see the faces
of those who stood in line each day.
They stood in single file.

Each of them held a glass of water.
Vividly, I can remember what it felt like
when I watched them reach line's end.
They took the glasses,
and emptied them
onto the painting.

I wish I could tell them this:

(Main Chorus w/out addition, followed by partial Chorus w/addition):
You diluted
with your vibrancy.
I know that it's all black and white now.
You laughed at my stride.
I ran so far behind.
My colors bled far from the finish-line.

You laughed at my stride.
I ran so far behind.
My colors bled far from the finish-line,
and though they'll never be just right,
they're coming back...
(idea for a very short musical part- the last few notes = lowest notes. The last chord on guitar ends music, all instruments at once.)
strong.

EnD

I'd appreciate any feedback for this one, probably more-so than every song that I've posted in this forum. I'd really like to hear anything that any of you have to say about it, because I'm thinking it may be my personal favorite, out of all that I've written.

I've actually been trying to write a song on this subject since very shortly after I started writing lyrics, but at the time, I lacked the amount of patience I've learned to have while writing. What that led to, was me pretty much giving up. This was the first attempt since about three & a half years ago. Lastly, all of the others were far more negative, with strong aggression and excessive cussing. This time, I meant to send a message through abstract descriptions, but also I wanted the words to show a more positive meaning. Before, they always sounded like childish complaints (now that I've read back on them.) I'm gonna go "cool off." It is very humid here.

Cheers and a smile, to All!

RiCterMan

Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 6:51 am

I realy like it. The first verse realy stands ut to me (although I'm not sure the last line of it fits musically).

I'm sorry I can't give more feedback... as I've been real busy lately with things, as I am now. I will say that to me, this is your best work... and I enjoyed reading it.

Keep it up...

Posted: Thu Jul 14, 2005 7:40 am

Thanks, Tom. If you're ever really busy, like you said you are now, there's no reason you need to respond to any post I make very quickly. I appreciate that you did reply quick to this one, but I'm a pretty patient guy. -Just thought I'd let ya know, so the stuff you need to do doesn't get disrupted, in any way.

Aside from that, you said that you're not sure that the last line in the verse would work out, but even though there is the variation in syllable count in all four lines, the last line in the verse, as well as the intro, work out very nicely (in my opinion). This song has a very nice flow. Hopefully, someday I can post some form of audio of this, that has the vocals set to music. I have no clue whether it sounds any better than good, currently, but I really enjoy singing it, and it seems to sound better than anything that I've written to this point.

Muchos Gracias! ...No, I don't know very much at all, in the way of spanish. But that is a phrase everyone knows, so... I'm safe. Laughing

Many Cheers, man!

RiCterMan

"R.G.B. Panoramic"

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