acmack2005
ubw newbie
Joined: Jul 05, 2005
Posts: 4
|
| Posted: Tue Jul 05, 2005 3:22 pm |
 |
hey ppl please will you take a look at this song i wrote and get back to me with your views on it
cheers xx it's called don't let love scare you away
[U]Chorus[/U]
Don't let love scare you away,
I love you more than i can say,
Only fools get caught up in silly games,
All i wanna know is do you feel the same?
[U]Verse 1[/U]
I saw you just the other day,
You had a smile on your face,
You talked to me just like any other time
It made me want even more for you to be mine.
Everyday i spend in your company
Makes me realise just what you do to me.
I want more and more for you to say,
That you love me in the same way
(As i dooo)
But
[U]Chorusx2[/U]
[U]Verse 2[/U]
Two hearts that beat,Two hearts that beat as one,
Would tell me that our love has just begun.
But my love for you,started a long time ago.
I wish i could tell you how i love you so.
But maybe it's me,it's me who's scared of this
This love i want from you,unknown to exist.
Maybe i should do what others say to me,
Just let you know how much you mean to me.
I told you once before,but i was paralysed
Yes you know what i mean,we were both drunk all night,
If i could,i would look into your eyes,
And tell you how loving you feels so right
(Cos it does) Oooooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh oooh
But
Chorusx2
I'd do anything if it meant that you'd be safe.
To save you from the pain i've seen you go through these days,
I'm always here for you if you need a friend
But just a friend's not what i want,I still pretend,
That i don't love you the way they say i do
But if the day comes again believe me when i say i love you
(Cos i do)
Chorusx2
thanks plz get bk 2 me asap
ac xxxx |
|
|
RiCterMan
ubw luminary
Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Location: Madison, OH
Posts: 742
|
| Posted: Wed Jul 06, 2005 1:56 am |
|
Hey you,
I hope I'm getting back to ya quick enough. No, I'm just playin'. 
This song is probably the best I've read by you since around 11:30pm or so, last night, when I started checking out posts here. The current time where I live, though once this is posted it'll say different, is 3:40am. See, I don't think anyone cares too much about the exact time any of my posts showed up on the boards.
With this lyrical work, there's not really anything major in this song that I'd want to give you advice on. One tiny exception, but it's kind of a variable. It's hard to think about how it would flow, when you sing it. Of course', you're the only one who truly knows how the tune goes, and the rhythm it follows, so as I said before, I see nothing major. Cheers, and music!
RiCterMan |
|
|
