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MerciPourLeAmore
ubw newbie
Joined: May 19, 2005
Location: Republican shithole , Texas, U.S.
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 4:30 pm |
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Let's take a ride on the outside
where i see smiles
and pleasant eyes
to always greet me
Where our looks don't meet out words
The scenery always changes so fast
This is a made up world
to only create more guilt
Nothing's truly honest-
but it's all real.
If pain were the truth
then we should still know it
But i can't tell what's real
or artificial
Things are kept hidden behind
our masks.
And i smile too.
I smile too.
Will you forget who i am?
and forget what i've done?
Accept me for all the wrong
Things will be the same
a long, long time.....
(although the lyics are not an average length for an entire song, it is repetitive with certain lines--i'm trying to work on this one still) |
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StephieJo
ubw newbie
Joined: May 14, 2005
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 5:53 pm |
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wow.... these are really good lyrics! I love the choice of words you use and all of that great stuff, one question though. Where's the Chorus??
Great Job So far! |
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Brooksy
ubw screen dweller
Joined: Oct 08, 2004
Location: The Wastelands
Posts: 1899
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| Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 12:41 am |
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Hi matey. That lyric is very smooth flowing, no jumps in it at all. While this is a work in progress I won't say anymore  |
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