This Girl

Posted: Tue May 17, 2005 4:00 am

This Girl

This girl’s the only one I feel for,
This girl’s the one I think I look for, (sing with)
And she kills, with her good looks but,
Not physically, it’s only mentally, she’s a hot girl,
This girl, (this girlllllllllllllllllll)

We met,
We met on my space,
The place where she,
Put a smile on my face, (this girl this girl, this gir)

[Chorus]

This girl is a special girl,
She makes my heart bleed like a broken pearl,
She aint nuthin bad she aint got a tag,
The only thing I hate is there’s nothing to hate,
This girl is the girl,
The girl, that girl the guys want,

[/Chorus]

(5am dreaming im thinking of Alicia,
Talking in my sleep thinking im with Alicia,
Cuddling with my pillow thinking its Alicia,
When will it start with me singing … oh Alicia,)

[Chorus]

This girl is a special girl,
She makes my heart bleed like a broken pearl,
She aint nuthin bad she aint got a tag,
The only thing I hate is there’s nothing to hate,
This girl is the girl,
The girl, that girl the guys want,

[/Chorus]

I don’t know what to do with her, (her her her)
Is anything gonna change between us, (between us)
Can I stop this staring, can I stop this wounded bearing,
Or can I take your heart away, love you more and more each f**king day,

(She’s a moon and im a star,
She’s a moon and im a bloody star,
Ok switchit and,
She’s a star and im a moon,
She’s a star and im a happy moon,)

[Chorus]

This girl is a special girl,
She makes my heart bleed like a broken pearl,
She aint nuthin bad she aint got a tag,
The only thing I hate is there’s nothing to hate,
This girl is the girl,
The girl, that girl the guys want,

[/Chorus]

This girl made me write this song,
Cause she rocks my little f**king socks,
What next, what next, what next,
What the f**k is gonna happen next,
THIS GIRL!

Posted: Tue May 17, 2005 5:08 am

Excellent lyric there martyboi, just a couple of things though.

"This Girl, This girl" does become a little repetitive. Try and take it away from the other lines by perhaps having a couple of breif chords or whatever in there to break it away from the rest. I don't know, maybe in the finished song it may have this...excuse me if it does.

Also, instead of writing girllllll to indicate you want the word to be stretched try indicating it with >..in other words..more than.

Other than that, worthy to be read over and over. Hope to hear it to a completed track one day.

Posted: Tue May 17, 2005 8:39 am

thanks man

Posted: Tue May 17, 2005 9:29 am

Anytime

ubw newbie Joined: May 14, 2005 Posts: 10

yeah i think so too, the line "This girl" happens too often

This Girl

This girl’s the only one I feel for,
This girl’s the one I think I look for, (sing with)
And she kills, with her good looks but,
Not physically, it’s only mentally, she’s a hot girl, ~~~That line to me doesn't seem smooth enough, theres too many subjects thrown at you and can get confusing
This girl, (this girlllllllllllllllllll)

We met,
We met on my space, ~~~ what space?
The place where she,
Put a smile on my face, (this girl this girl, this gir)

[Chorus]

This girl is a special girl,
She makes my heart bleed like a broken pearl,
She aint nuthin bad she aint got a tag, ~~~"She ain't got a tag" to me doesn't make as much sence
The only thing I hate is there’s nothing to hate, ~~~ This line is confusing because you are hating something! lol
This girl is the girl,
The girl, that girl the guys want, ~~~This line sounds like a sentence that was just cut in half, and plus it sounds like the line from "she's the girl all the bad guys want" for some reason.. lol

[/Chorus]

(5am dreaming im thinking of Alicia,
Talking in my sleep thinking im with Alicia,
Cuddling with my pillow thinking its Alicia,
When will it start with me singing … oh Alicia,) ~~~Take out a few Alicias cause I think we get what her name is.

[Chorus]

This girl is a special girl,
She makes my heart bleed like a broken pearl,
She aint nuthin bad she aint got a tag,
The only thing I hate is there’s nothing to hate,
This girl is the girl,
The girl, that girl the guys want,

[/Chorus]

I don’t know what to do with her, (her her her)
Is anything gonna change between us, (between us)
Can I stop this staring, can I stop this wounded bearing,
Or can I take your heart away, love you more and more each really day, ~~~I love this line! Just you should take out "really" on the last bit, and it'll sound great

(She’s a moon and im a star,
She’s a moon and im a bloody star,
Ok switchit and,
She’s a star and im a moon,
She’s a star and im a happy moon,) ~~~This verse makes me laugh lol

[Chorus]

This girl is a special girl,
She makes my heart bleed like a broken pearl,
She aint nuthin bad she aint got a tag,
The only thing I hate is there’s nothing to hate,
This girl is the girl,
The girl, that girl the guys want,

[/Chorus]

This girl made me write this song, ~~~ You could say instead "She is why I wrote this song" because that line sounds like she was forcing you to write this song
Cause she rocks my little really socks, ~~~Little "really" socks?
What next, what next, what next,
What the pickles is gonna happen next,
THIS GIRL! Smile

I love the song, just wanted to show you where I think you should make some ajustments, I could tell you were very happy when writing this and it shows me how much you like "This Girl"! Good Luck with it!

~StephieJo

Posted: Thu May 19, 2005 2:49 am

remember it will be sung with music so it will be nothing like reading it through in your mind, alot of songs out there use words alot, depending on how you put it together with music (timings etc) between lines, it could sound bad, it could sound good it just depends on how it is put together.

myspace (www.myspace.com) ... where i met her Razz

, she asks me to write a song about her so i did... have you not heared someone say they have not got a tag? meaning they are not a skater/goth/emo/chav/scally/gangster or something like that, they are just them... this girl is nothing bad, she aint got a tag, meaning she is her. the hate line is basicly saying everything is too perfect and i hate that there is nothing to hate because its like too good to be real kinda thing lol... it sounds like that, haha never thought about it Razz

oh well, i like the sound of those last 2 lines when sung sounds fun...

'or can i take your heart away, love you more....' hehe that bit where it says 'really' that shouldnt be there, the filter must have taken out the bad word, it said 'f***ing Razz

yeh that verse of the moon star thing is quite silly lol, she calls me her little moon cause i called her a star lol Razz

...

looks like the pickle monster got me in this song again and changed some of my words Razz

thats why the really is there in some places haha, oh well...

Thank you for that man, i'll take your advice and adjust those places Smile

ubw newbie Joined: May 14, 2005 Posts: 10

Yep! no problem!

So everytime you say a cuss word it says 'really'? ...That's weird lol

Well I hope everything goes well with you and her! tata

This Girl

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