serina_erin
ubw newbie
Joined: May 12, 2005
Location: South Dakota
Posts: 2
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| Posted: Thu May 12, 2005 4:40 pm |
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This is the first song lyrics I have ever wrote. I don't have a chorus yet, so any suggestions would be great! Thanks!
Don't want to remember the pain
Past Hurts, Freas, and Tears
Those names will always linger,
In my mind along with the bruises
You squeeze tight
With Clenched teeth
Screaming and Yelling
Is All I Hear From Your Face
The fear of your temper
Marks on the walls from past hits
Hatred, anger, jealousy, distrust
Obsession, Unfaithful, are memories of you
Scared and afraid
Wishing for a better place
I sat there with heartache
I knew what I must do
Moving on, bumpy path, Uncertainty
Friends helping, carrying my pain
On their backs through the darkness
But the light is in sight, hope
Happiness, Trust, & New Friendships
Lessons learned, stronger person
Nobody can push me down
I just get back up, brush myself off
But don't worry, Your Forgiven
Unlike You, I'm a better person
All I need is faith, trust, & hope
I'm in the driver seat now |
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StephieJo
ubw newbie
Joined: May 14, 2005
Posts: 10
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| Posted: Mon May 16, 2005 6:38 pm |
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Great Lyrics! It lets me know how you're feeling in the song, a suggestion would be to give it a title [and make sure your lyrics really explain the title], and a chorus [which i know you are working on which is great] Then your song would be complete! 
 I'ts very Impressive |
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