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TalkieLava
ubw newbie
Joined: Apr 24, 2005
Posts: 7
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| Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 12:38 pm |
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Poem
...........................
So much can be said for the wisdom thats been lost
The ancient idea that every-man carries his own cross
The weight of thy own is too much to handle
The light fades as I burn this candid candle
Looks are given and impressions are exchanged
My free fortune and will may never be chained
Battles that are fought with no winners in mind
Hate breeds and breathes while it eats victims insides
Where is the manual to this thing we call life
Why can't we pause or escape whenever we like
Feeling insecure and well unaware
Political individuals playing musical chairs
A place where no definitions are found
a collection of foreign noises and different sounds
Plagues of people spreading the real truth
Hungry mouths relishing their soul soup
I leave with at least one thing in my hands
To "live one day at a time" pocket plans
..................................
Talkie |
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minusme
Site Admin
Joined: Jan 25, 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 3648
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| Posted: Wed May 11, 2005 6:55 pm |
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Well done Talike!!! Thanks for sharing!!!
I really like the rhythm of your verse and your unique phrasing. This is REALLY good!!! |
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MerciPourLeAmore
ubw newbie
Joined: May 19, 2005
Location: Republican shithole , Texas, U.S.
Posts: 13
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| Posted: Fri May 20, 2005 8:14 pm |
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These lyrics are like a poem...i love it! very creative words chosen  |
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Brooksy
ubw screen dweller
Joined: Oct 08, 2004
Location: The Wastelands
Posts: 1899
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| Posted: Sat May 21, 2005 12:45 am |
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Excellent wording and a beutiful smoothness make this a great read to even non-poetic dunces like me 
Well done |
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RickHorsman
ubw newbie
Joined: May 29, 2005
Posts: 6
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| Posted: Sun Jun 05, 2005 7:27 am |
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That solid!! Solid!
My favorite couplet is certainly the 1st.. as a couplet it could stand completely alone and still work to convey an opinion and message... Great Job!!
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http://jrbrontide.proboards43.com/ |
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