how do you like these lyrics? honesty appreciated :D

 Music Forums Lyrics how do you like these lyrics? honesty appreciated :D  
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greyfox
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Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 9:11 am Reply with quote

Her last shadow

Pushed downstream, away from family
The lone straggler you wont understand
Until one day she shows her colour
And gives you a helping hand

Youíll walk together side by side
Until you reach the end
Youíll remember all the things youíve been through
Sheíll turn around and say ďthis is it my friendĒ

Donít cry for me, please just smile for me
Iíll see you soon enough
Just when you think you canít take more
Iíll show you how to be tough

When you see her last shadow
The one on the tip of the horizon
Youíll try to remember when you first met her
The one you first laid eyes on

From the adventure routine returns
But youíll never quite forget
That day you took a wrong turning
And the love on that day you met

Donít cry for me, please just smile for me
Iíll see you soon enough
Just when you think you canít take more
Iíll show you how to be tough
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minusme
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Joined: Jan 25, 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 3761

Posted: Tue Apr 19, 2005 6:08 pm Reply with quote

Hi Greyfox, welcome to the Unsigned Band Web!!!

I like the story telling style you have to these lyrics. In just a few words you are able to tell a lot!!!!

Really enjoyed your lyrics!!!! Do you have them recorded as a song anywhere?

Ron
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greyfox
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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:20 am Reply with quote

wow thanks Very Happy nah i dont have any instruments tryin to get my hands on a guitar i'll let you know how it goes, if i could i would probably record them like light rock or somethin. I'll post some more if you want
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greyfox
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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 10:01 am Reply with quote

cmon this topic has been viewed 40 times please try and tell me what you think of my lyrics!!!pleaseeee
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smili
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Joined: Sep 11, 2004
Location: Nashville TN
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Posted: Wed Apr 20, 2005 8:03 pm Reply with quote

I'm not much of a lyrics guy, but these sound good. like to hear them with a song - how they're sung.

smili
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greyfox
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Posted: Thu Apr 21, 2005 11:58 am Reply with quote

Thanks dude, so would i Very Happy as i ssaid im gonna try and put them in to a song but im only 14 not much of an income lol
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trail_of_dead
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Posted: Mon Apr 25, 2005 1:12 pm Reply with quote

greyfox wrote:
Thanks dude, so would i Very Happy as i ssaid im gonna try and put them in to a song but im only 14 not much of an income lol


^^ It's pretty easy to get some real cheap instruments. I've even heard stories of guitars being sold for 20$!!! Even I was suprised at that. They might not be the greatest quality but i'll get you started.

As for the lyrics, I loved the way you've told your story. By the way, how long have you been writing because these are really good!
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greyfox
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Posted: Tue Apr 26, 2005 11:28 am Reply with quote

thanks for the tip mate, i'll keep it in mind. ive been writing for couple of weeks, for me it seems really easy but maybe i just got lucky :s hope not , i was just tlkin to someone i know one of my friends brother in law and i asked has he ever wrote any lyrics and he said he has so maybe we can write some together cos the ones he showed me were great so im pretty chuffed at that lol he also wants to learn keyboard and i was really lookin forward to a guitar..so u never know...thanks for the compliment though its all really appreciated and any way i can make my lyrics better is also appreciated Very Happy
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