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Maisie
ubw rookie
Joined: Oct 05, 2004
Location: Allen, TX
Posts: 147
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| Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:56 am |
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The other day, I came up with some decent music (that's the most I can say about any of mine, really; there's nothing special about it) and so I've been working on some lyrics to go with it. Unfortunately, I've got some fine-tuning to do and maybe another verse or two to add, so I can't just record it right away like I do with most of my songs when I feel they're satisfactory, so these lyrics will have to do.
I was going over the lyrics and I realized something pretty funny. I unwittingly wrote the verses out in the Japanese style of Haiku. Anyway, I just thought that was neat.
The song is called "Your Illusion." It's a title I'm borrowing from another song I wrote once upon a time that I've decided not to use.
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It’s all or nothing
You think that you know it all
Well you don’t
You’re waiting for something
You just don’t know what it is
Well, you’ll never know
This time’s the last time
You can’t redeem yourself now
So you shouldn’t try
You know that this is real life
You know your fantasy’s a lie
You know you’ve tried too hard to be
What your illusion’s made you see
Lie down in the darkness
Admit that you’ve lost it all
And just close your eyes
Give back what you’ve stolen
My time, compassion, and life
I’ll let you drown in lies
You’ll never open up and admit
You’ll never climb out of your sh**
You’ll never be so great and kind
Because your illusion’s made you blind
And time and time again
You see it fit to lie in wait
For some extraordinary truth
I’ll watch you die again
There is no such a thing as fate
Your idealistic point of view
Is nothing more than that
You’ll never be quite happy enough
Illusion’s fed your narrow mind
Deception’s all you hear
And nothing ever pleases you
You’re not quite sure what you’re even trying to find |
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Brooksy
ubw screen dweller
Joined: Oct 08, 2004
Location: The Wastelands
Posts: 1899
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| Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 2:04 am |
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Wha-hey, Jack.
Nice lyric there my friend....
You see it fit to lie in wait
All I'd do is remove the it...kinda disrupted me while reading
You see fit to lie in wait...I mean it may sound great sung by you...so it's just my opinion.
Reading thru I tried to hear you singing it I think it would possibly sound like you'd come in hard on the chorus and gradually soften on...illusion’s made you see...
Again damn fine lyric, as always thought provoking, excellent imagery and emotion. You DA MAN  |
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minusme
Site Admin
Joined: Jan 25, 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 3648
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| Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 8:13 am |
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I agree with Brooksy, great job Maisie!!! |
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