continual story thread..the story so far....

Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 6:44 pm

Ok...if y' don't know this is where one person starts to tell the story you guys fill it in...hey, I'm bored
Ok, I'll go...
Once upon a time there was a very large.... ...woman in a bar that smelled like....... ....she had just be resurrected from a long death. The amazing thing about her was the way her lips.... ...were framed with a striking, perfectly trimed moustash..........(i know spelling) .which was home to two field mice called Larry and Mo. The other mouse, Curly lived down south next to Hadley, the beever. Hadley enjoyed the little mouses company because he would sometimes bring crabs for supper after their meal of crab, some times the to would stroll to the Cherry hills. Where atop of those huge mounds of earth, Larry made the shocking statement:
OH MY GOD THESE HILLS ARE MADE OF FLESH!! ( i would have play with ya if it was like on other sites...just 3 words each.....grrr my english sucks.... ) awww, come on alek your english is goodern' mind. we all know what you mean.
Now here we go.....grabbing one of hair surrounding the bright pink ring at the top, he "shimmied " to the top only to discover a large, pink slug slapping the summit. In the distance he heard a moaning sound, a sound so terrifying yet so pungent. He couldn't quite place that smell(shit house door from a tuna boat..perhaps?) Looking down from the summit he saw that all his friends had passed out, but all where smiling... ..looking further south , he could see the figure of a frenchman, in a floppy hat , jumping from knee to knee, ( like in UP's avatar) eating a (here it comes..) a banana by day, and cabaret singer by night. He believes in the power of bananas and he bows to the great banana and asks "Oh might banana...drown me in your juicy insides"
but suddenly on his back appeared a large orange; ya know that kind of juicy ones fungus, elivs impersonator hungry for a peanutbutter and banana sandwich. Spy ing the chocolate covered Frenchman he asks
“Oh! Where did ya bought that nice hat?”
"From a crazy New Zealander. He was chasing penguins with it"
At the same moment, somewhere between..... Heaven & hell......... torment was going on...on the high seas as HMS Banana Bird hit rocks just outside of the whiskey glass "which should always be full" read the sign on his back as he cut....up the sausages and cheese, for the upcoming celebration. "Ker-sploink"...what the hell was that noise shouted biggles whilst flying over the...... ...large banana that had appeared over the hill. It was carrying a pear and a cabbage as back up if things got outta hand during. ..the upcoming American Idol auditions where Donald Trump has given his daughter as first prize. All boyband competitors have dropped out because she's above the sign stating .."no comb-overs please" at the very moment the fantastic golden beaked albatross named Barry hones in on some road-kill that is fresh and swoops down to retrieve a bit of the unfortunate animal. He nips off a small piece of the rear leg and say's" oh poo i knew i should of got a larger piece".so in the quest for the holy grail barry flies to mcDonalds to order a McBanana with french cheese.
Barry ends up somewhere over Turkey and before finishing his Mcbanana/ French cheese, it drops, turns into ice, lands on Unproject's back! "Oh F...... "oh pickles" says the man (pickles omg ), as he sees the frozen cheesy mcbanana landing on the back of his chicken called "unproject"!..... But he forgot one thing.... unproject-chicken was wearing a suit of full plate armor.. Oh Pickles ? ! laughs unproject-chicken just as barry-albatross lustfully swoops toward her.
"OMG" shouts barry, " what a wonderful chastity belt. A full suit of armour ! "
Barry then makes haste to the unproject-chicken, continually whispering to himself "pickles, pickles, pickles" The look in unproject-chicken's eye was one of fear. The other eye had closed over due to the impact from the frozen McBanana/French cheese and was still lodged in there.
The ground.... was suddenly covered with a hellish glow termite mounds quickly grew, then exploded leaving..... still with fear in her eyes, unproject-chicken thought "what the f*ck does termite mound mean?" "Oh pickles " thinks Barry," those 1-2 meter tall insect colony structures made by termites in this arid piece of land are exploding !" A lightning bolt strikes her armour and unproject-chicken is without her chastity armour. Barry then mounts and shouts: I have found the last virgin in... ...Turkey!! And falls to the side spent from bumping uglys, and lights a......... happy cigarette. On stubbing out his cigarette, Barry hears unproject-chicken shout..."IM HAVING CONTRACTIONS ALREADY!"
Eggs start to.... scramble as the French Banana asks for salt to put on his frozen path so as not to slip while he puts his peel back on. Allready thinking of eggs for breakfast he..... runs to UBWKing for an omellette. Only to find.... The chickens were constipated. No eggs....there was only one thing for it, only one thing left, just one thing he could do now. It was mad, it was crazy, it was a million to one chance, but it might just work......He turned around slowly, the sweat staring to run down his face, heart pounding he gently leaned forward and let the biggest trumper rip,the noise was so loud avalanche's were happening on the other side of the earth,women and children were running about screaming hysterically,but were the chickens unconstipated and was unproject about to have his eggs polished by... James, from Metaillica who was coincidentally stuffing grapes into chickens in a half-way house down in Soho. The head Chef,Jamie im a twat oliver successfully removed his fingers in a liquidizer and served them up for starters before removing his liver with a blunt claw hammer for the main course, for dessert there was.. a piss-stained snow cone which...... tasted lemony and had a flake.whilst feasting suddenly a ... seagull hovered close to his face and exploded causing other seagulls to make love in... an unsavoury fashion for all to see, it was so horendous little jimmy needed.. some French cheese...
After listening to Billie Haliday for over an hour he'd had enough French cheese and decided and decided he really needed some British Ham, but someone had stolen his Def Leppard album....no, it was a disaster...not Hsyteria.....no more Animal.....no more simple drum patterns triggered by foot switches. There was nothing. Jimmy grabbed his coat and ran outside. "Good bye cruel world" he yelled at the wind, "Life without Def Leppard is a life I don't want" and with that he..... stumbled once on an empty coke can and swore to the world. "farQ !" he said to the can.But the french cheese fermented in his stomach and he too exploded leaving nothing but the British ham blinking in the snow....With a stiff upper lip and a cup of tea in both hands the ham soldiered on "I will be the first ham to get to the North pole" it said as it pushed forward against the snow. "I will not be defeated..." Just as the ham was approaching it's goal it saw movement to it's left. What was it? What could it be?.... PENGUINS !
The ham smoked a cigarette then shaved himself into slices and off they all went to join the line of penguins at a rock with a hairy dude holding a bat. The 1st slice said..... "This sure beats being part of a pig", to which the second slice replied... whats a pig and why is there a slice of ham speaking to me i need a doctor .so off it went to see a shrink .. After spending over £20,000 sitting in the office of a small man who'd been put on hot wash once to often and exploring the nature of his relationship with his mother, his father, his sister and his well trained flock of sheep, the ham realised that he was in fact an accountant named Byron living in Milton Keynes. Armed with his new found self awareness and safe in the knowledge that with regular medication, a healthy balanced diet, 9 hours sleep a night and non controvention of the restraining order banning him from any delicatesen in France, Byron strode out into the bright sunshine ready to start his life anew. This was unfortunate, because at exactly the same time.... a slice of beef attacked him with French mustard and slapped him on a large bun with that in mind danger mouse had to come up with a plan and there wasnt much time."Quickly Penfold" he whispered urgently "We must contact Hong Kong Phuey, Tiswas and Rubarb and Custard, maybe even the Crankies. Now Starsky and Hutch are back the doors wide open. There's alot of careers counting on us.....Lets get to it!" "Yes Boss!" Penfold replied. Suddenly a song came on the radio, a sweet song, a song which gently drifted in through their unguarded ears and changed everything. It was Hawaii 5-0. Reminding Penfold of the time he used to.... cough up to 7 fur balls a day in precisely the same spot as some renegade foot soldier named .... Gloria. Gloria was a savage who bred dalmations by day and raised hell by night if her puppies... would stop sucking on her nipples.These nipples were by no means ordinary as Penfold found out when he... tried one for himself, having cast aside the puppy from the right breast. This had ennraged the puppy who had a large head.... and a red hat... and two invisible friends both called Lokomitertringlebumpsybeebopdalulamoo, which is Inuit for Bob and Pete...

Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 7:20 pm

you haven't posted this for earning some ubw points in a nasty kind of way, right? Laughing

Posted: Thu Dec 30, 2004 8:09 pm

LOL Soulfish...

It's like those MAD LIBS where you keep adding words and then read the whole thing at the end!!!!

Thanks for putting this together!

Ron

Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 12:03 am

LOL

Wish I had - I only got 15 points for it! Shocked

Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 2:13 am

Thanks Soulfish. Now it makes sense.... Laughing

Posted: Fri Dec 31, 2004 3:16 am

it does make sense in a funny kinda way Laughing

Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 6:29 pm

How in the hell do you figure this fits into a story thread that was started 3 years ago????..
we unsigned artists may be unsigned and broke...but damn, we aint stoopid....(mispelled for a reason).

Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 6:55 pm

yeah, i sent that r-tard a nasty message earlier and asked PPB to but a delete-down on that a$$. i guess he's not been on today, though. i asked him if he could just delete the user. doubt he can, but one can dream.

this cat did the same thing in another not-so-ancient post. i can't wait until they build the USB interface that will allow you to reach through and grab a guy by the nads when the post some BS like that. Laughing

but until that day comes... Executioner

this will have to do...

Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 10:20 pm

Man we are like the spam lynch mob!!!!????

Posted: Thu Dec 20, 2007 11:21 pm

LYNCH MOB...MR. SCARY! Laughing

Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 3:23 am

'tis the season of break-ups and 'oh look theres my nose on the floor' Rolling Eyes

Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 12:12 pm

lmaoooo....you been drinkin again???...lol

Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 2:35 pm

Yes...Mr. Scary....love that song man....wooooo

Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 6:04 pm

lmaoooo....you been drinkin again???...lol

Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2007 6:35 pm

whoa yea id say its time for a break if your having attacks dude....but as of right now...I'll take up yer slack for ya!!!!!!!!
lol....Miller Lite in my hand as i type this...and im sure there will be many more as the night progresses......wooohooo!!

continual story thread..the story so far....

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