  |
Message |
Soulfish
ubw luminary
Joined: Nov 07, 2004
Location: Brighton
Posts: 704
|
| Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 5:24 am |
 |
The chickens were constipated. No eggs....there was only one thing for it, only one thing left, just one thing he could do now. It was mad, it was crazy, it was a million to one chance, but it might just work......He turned around slowly, the sweat staring to run down his face, heart pounding he gently leaned forward and....... |
|
|
| Back to top |
 |
|
Dlinkquint
ubw fanatic
Joined: Nov 21, 2004
Location: manchester,england
Posts: 535
|
| Posted: Mon Dec 20, 2004 7:14 am |
|
let the biggest trumper rip,the noise was so loud avalanche's were happening on the other side of the earth,women and children were running about screaming hysterically,but were the chickens unconstipated and was unproject about to have his eggs polished by... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ImL
moderator
Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1885
|
| Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 3:49 am |
|
James, from Metaillica who was coincidentally stuffing grapes into chickens in a half-way house down in Soho. The head Chef... |
|
|
| Back to top |
 |
|
Dlinkquint
ubw fanatic
Joined: Nov 21, 2004
Location: manchester,england
Posts: 535
|
| Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 2:07 pm |
|
jamie im a twat oliver successfully removed his fingers in a liquidizer and served them up for starters before removing his liver with a blunt claw hammer for the main course, for dessert there was.. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Soulfish
ubw luminary
Joined: Nov 07, 2004
Location: Brighton
Posts: 704
|
| Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 6:42 pm |
|
a piss-stained snow cone which...... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Dlinkquint
ubw fanatic
Joined: Nov 21, 2004
Location: manchester,england
Posts: 535
|
| Posted: Tue Dec 21, 2004 7:25 pm |
|
tasted lemony and had a flake.whilst feasting suddenly a ... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ImL
moderator
Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1885
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2004 4:28 am |
|
seagull hovered close to his face and exploded causing other seagulls to make love in... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Dlinkquint
ubw fanatic
Joined: Nov 21, 2004
Location: manchester,england
Posts: 535
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2004 3:10 pm |
|
an unsavoury fashion for all to see, it was so horendous little jimmy needed.. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ImL
moderator
Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1885
|
| Posted: Wed Dec 22, 2004 11:36 pm |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Soulfish
ubw luminary
Joined: Nov 07, 2004
Location: Brighton
Posts: 704
|
| Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 6:48 am |
|
After listening to Billie Haliday for over an hour he'd had enough French cheese and decided and decided he really needed some British Ham, but someone had stolen his Def Leppard album....no, it was a disaster...not Hsyteria.....no more Animal.....no more simple drum patterns triggered by foot switches. There was nothing. Jimmy grabbed his coat and ran outside. "Good bye cruel world" he yelled at the wind, "Life without Def Leppard is a life I don't want" and with that he..... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ImL
moderator
Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1885
|
| Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 7:06 am |
|
stumbled once on an empty coke can and swore to the world. "farQ !" he said to the can.
But the french cheese fermented in his stomach and he too exploded leaving.... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Soulfish
ubw luminary
Joined: Nov 07, 2004
Location: Brighton
Posts: 704
|
| Posted: Thu Dec 23, 2004 7:19 am |
|
nothing but the British ham blinking in the snow....With a stiff upper lip and a cup of tea in both hands the ham soldiered on "I will be the first ham to get to the North pole" it said as it pushed forward against the snow. "I will not be defeated..." Just as the ham was approaching it's goal it saw movement to it's left. What was it? What could it be?.... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
ImL
moderator
Joined: Jun 25, 2004
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1885
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 3:33 am |
|
PENGUINS !
The ham smoked a cigarette then shaved himself into slices and off they all went to join the line of penguins at a rock with a hairy dude holding a bat.
The 1st slice said..... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Soulfish
ubw luminary
Joined: Nov 07, 2004
Location: Brighton
Posts: 704
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 6:36 am |
|
"This sure beats being part of a pig", to which the second slice replied... |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
Dlinkquint
ubw fanatic
Joined: Nov 21, 2004
Location: manchester,england
Posts: 535
|
| Posted: Fri Dec 24, 2004 8:02 am |
|
whats a pig and why is there a slice of ham speaking to me i need a doctor .so off it went to see a shrink .. |
|
|
| Back to top |
|
|
|
|
