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Matheus_Sunset_Lynar
ubw newbie
Joined: Nov 25, 2004
Location: Porto Alegre, Brazil
Posts: 23
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| Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:07 am |
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Three guys are sitting at a bar.
#1: "...Yeah, I make $75,000 a year after taxes."
#2: "What do you do for a living?"
#1: "I'm a stockbroker. How much do you make?
#2: "I should clear $60,000 this year."
#1: "What do you do?"
#2: "I'm an architect."
The third guy has been sitting there quietly, staring into his beer, when the others turn to him.
#2: "Hey, how much do you make per year?"
#3: "Gee...hmmm...I guess about $13,000."
#1: "Oh yeah? What kind of sticks do you use?" |
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Cnyl
ubw rookie
Joined: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 149
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| Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:09 am |
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| Matheus_Sunset_Lynar wrote: | How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?
The knock gets faster. |
That's because us drummers are used to playing with guitar players that can't keep time..
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Matheus_Sunset_Lynar
ubw newbie
Joined: Nov 25, 2004
Location: Porto Alegre, Brazil
Posts: 23
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| Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:09 am |
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What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks. |
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Matheus_Sunset_Lynar
ubw newbie
Joined: Nov 25, 2004
Location: Porto Alegre, Brazil
Posts: 23
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| Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:10 am |
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What do you call a beautiful woman on a bassist's arm?
A tattoo. |
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Brooksy
ubw screen dweller
Joined: Oct 08, 2004
Location: The Wastelands
Posts: 1899
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| Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:11 am |
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(At rehearsals)
Bassist: Er...forgotten how this track goes
Guitarist: Just go dum-dum-de-dum
Bassist: Dum-dum-de-dum
Guitarist: No!! On the bass!!
(At gig)
Guitarist: Where's your bass?
Bassist: Broke
Guitarist: How?
Bassist: You said: Go dum-dum-de-dum on the bass
Guitarist: Yes.
Bassist: Did you mean play it or stand on it? |
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Matheus_Sunset_Lynar
ubw newbie
Joined: Nov 25, 2004
Location: Porto Alegre, Brazil
Posts: 23
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| Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:11 am |
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This is one of my favorites:
What do you call a guitar player that only knows two chords?
A music critic. |
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Brooksy
ubw screen dweller
Joined: Oct 08, 2004
Location: The Wastelands
Posts: 1899
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| Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:15 am |
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What's the difference between a bassist and a drummer?
Virginity. |
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Matheus_Sunset_Lynar
ubw newbie
Joined: Nov 25, 2004
Location: Porto Alegre, Brazil
Posts: 23
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| Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:49 am |
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| Cnyl wrote: | | Matheus_Sunset_Lynar wrote: | How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?
The knock gets faster. |
That's because us drummers are used to playing with guitar players that can't keep time..
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Ha ha ha. I think Unsigned Band Web should change metronomes in exchange of points for drummers. |
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Soulfish
ubw luminary
Joined: Nov 07, 2004
Location: Brighton
Posts: 706
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| Posted: Fri Nov 26, 2004 8:30 am |
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Michael Jackson is walking through the woods with a kid. "I'm scared - it's getting dark!" says the kid.
"I'ts alright for you" Michael replies "I've got to walk back on my own"
Yes - I know I'm sick - I play in a rock band for gods sake - what do you expect? |
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Brooksy
ubw screen dweller
Joined: Oct 08, 2004
Location: The Wastelands
Posts: 1899
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| Posted: Fri Nov 26, 2004 8:33 am |
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| Soulfish wrote: | Michael Jackson is walking through the woods with a kid. "I'm scared - it's getting dark!" says the kid.
"I'ts alright for you" Michael replies "I've got to walk back on my own"
Yes - I know I'm sick - I play in a rock band for gods sake - what do you expect? |
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witcheru
ubw rookie
Joined: Oct 15, 2004
Location: Erie, Pa
Posts: 188
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| Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2004 10:57 pm |
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I don't really know many jokes, but here are some quotes from our practices..(yes I write these down..the boyz are funny!!)
"Just think what it will be like playing live in front of Bum ruffians, and Rathscallions!!" 
"Do I look like Jimmy Page??!!" 
"Don't want to hear no clik-n-chucks!!" 
"Ya can't polish a turd..You can only mic it and make it thicker and louder.."  
"Honey..tell him to quit makin me look at his hole..." 
"You don't judge a man by the last note he plays, but how it carries out.." 
"Oh yeah, it's all fun and games until the guitar player kills someone..." 
"Ru has the power to stop 180 pounds of drunk ...with a single hand.." 
"OK....thats the second time today you referanced alligators...."
" It should go like.....kin-ka-choo kin-ka-choo kin-ka-chu wrrrruangh...."  
" that sound is 6 degrees past blowhog....."  
10-30-04...Ok, Chris is now totally convinced that Paul works for the government..
ahhh...My midnite Philosophers     
RU |
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minusme
Site Admin
Joined: Jan 25, 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 3648
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| Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 12:53 am |
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| Quote: |
Ya can't polish a turd..You can only mic it and make it thicker and louder
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I think I may have said this myself at some point in my history!!! LOL
But this one's my favorite...
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Oh yeah, it's all fun and games until the guitar player kills someone
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Nice post witcheru!!!!
Ron |
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witcheru
ubw rookie
Joined: Oct 15, 2004
Location: Erie, Pa
Posts: 188
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| Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 12:20 pm |
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Thanks! I'm glad to hear someone can relate..we have alot of fun!!   :smt112 |
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smili
moderator
Joined: Sep 11, 2004
Location: Nashville TN
Posts: 1225
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| Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 1:31 pm |
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| witcheru wrote: | | "Do I look like Jimmy Page??!!" RU |
That cracked me up.  Kindof like "Let's practice swinging our guitars back and forth in unison!", and "Ok we all need to bang our heads at the same time right here"
smili |
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