let's have your musician jokes!

Posted: Wed Nov 24, 2004 5:37 pm

Not many guitarist jokes....

How do you get the lead guitarist to quiet down?

Give him sheet music

... myself being a guitarist that can't read much more than chord charts... thank heavens for tab.

smili

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 3:01 am

Yippeeee...I'm not alone!!!!! Shocked

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 8:18 am

[quote="smili"]Here's a couple:

How does your lead singer change the light bulb?

He just holds it as the world revolves around him.

As a lead singer I would like to say we wouldn't change the lightbulb at all. We'd ask the bass player to do it, he'd promise it would be done by next week, and three weeks later the drummer would just do it without telling anyone. Unless it was one above a mirror that is.....

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 8:44 am

How many lead guitarists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just steal somebody else's light.

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 8:45 am

In the 22th century, how many guitar players will you need to replace a light source?
Five. One to actually do it, and four to reminisce about how much better the old tubes were.

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 8:48 am

How many bass players does it take to change a lightbulb?
a. Don't bother. Just leave it out--no one will notice.
b. One, but the guitarist has to show him first.

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 8:51 am

What's the difference between a female rock singer and a Porsche?
Most musicians have never been in a Porsche.

Ops, I hope I didn't overdo it with this one... Cool

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 8:53 am

What's the last thing a drummer says before he's thrown out of the band?
"Let's play one of MY songs"

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 8:56 am

Go Matheus, go..... Very Happy

DJ#1: I've remixed this remix so it sounds better in the mix

DJ#2: So the remix will miix better if the mix isn't all mixed up like the last mix you mixed?

DJ#1: The last mix was an experimental mix, so I wouldn't screw up this mix?

DJ#2: So with this mix mixed how many more mixes will you mix before you get that mix that will be a hit above all mixes?

DJ#1: As soon as this mix is mixed, I'll mix the the remix so it's matches the other mix that will be remixed to be able to remix that mix into the original mix. Once the original mix has been remixed into the re-remix, then the re-re-re-remix will be mixed. So all I have to do is mix the mix to fix the remix into a decent mix to remix the mix.

DJ#2: Then the cake'll be ready?

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 8:57 am

Did you hear about the drummer who locked his keys in his car?
It took him 45 minutes to get his drums, the bass amp, and the bass player out.

Hey... I still got more jokes to tell!! Drummers: please have the vocalist nearby to explain them to you.

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 8:58 am

What's the difference between an oboe and an onion?
No one cries when you chop up an oboe.

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:01 am

If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions: A smart drummer, a talented bass player, a newbie guitarrist or Santa Claus?

The newbie guitarrist for sure. The other 3 don't actually exist.

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:02 am

How can you tell when a drummer is at your door?
The knock gets faster.

Posted: Thu Nov 25, 2004 9:04 am

oh hahaha this one is awesome! Laughing

ubw rookie Joined: Sep 17, 2004 Posts: 149

Did you guys hear about the guitar player that tried to blow up a car...?
He burned his lips on the exhaust pipe.

let's have your musician jokes!

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