Beautiful Little Rose ALT.Country

ubw newbie Joined: Oct 17, 2004 Location: CORK Posts: 45

Hi
I think I'm getting the hang of this site now LOL. Confused

I would love to have my song reviewed. I only started writing Lyrics this year so it is a learning process for me.
This song is a very sad song and is probably my best. Its a heartfelt song.

Not sure if the genre is correct, some people seem to think so.
Question

I would love to hear your comments and any constructive advise.

Cheers ROGUE
a shoot I forget the link. DOH!

http://www.unsignedbandweb.com/music/bands/1790/

edit: yer link addition -unproject- Rolling Eyes

ubw newbie Joined: Oct 17, 2004 Location: CORK Posts: 45

http://www.unsignedbandweb.com/music/bands/1790/

Thats the link to my song I think.

http://unsignedbandweb.com/music/play.php?band_id=1790&song_id=2281&mode=song_hifi
http://unsignedbandweb.com/music/play.php?band_id=1790&song_id=2281&mode=song_lofi

edit.... added direct song play links .... ron

Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2004 5:01 pm

I mentioned this on your other post, but here goes again...

Really nice song, and I can certainly here the "lou reed" influence in your music!!! I too am a big lou reed fan. Really nice arpeggio with your guitar that has a great appeal. I think your vocals could use just a little less of the chorus/reverb, in my opinion.

Nice Job, I really enjoyed this track!!!

Ron

Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2004 5:06 pm

Hi again, Rogue.

OK, let's see...

I think people have already mentioned about the echo. You've got an innocent voice, which unlike mine which needs sampling every three bars( Embarassed

), does not require to be enhanced anymore.

Maybe post your lyrics when you're next writing for a critique. I'd be honoured to have a go.

And it's the Lyrical I want to press on a little since you've asked. At times it seems like they're being held back when they should be moving forward, like there isn't enough words on that line to fill the bar. There are tricks to get around this, but without actually seein' the lyrics I can't help.
Your rhyme scheme seems pretty much perfect, there's no "using a word 'cause it goes with the last one" situation.

Well, that's my two pennies.
Hope I could help!

Brooksy

ubw newbie Joined: Oct 17, 2004 Location: CORK Posts: 45

Thanks for those comments.
I'll see if I can post the lyric up.
I'm getting the hang of the recording thing on the computer and its true I did use reverb on the vocals and guitars. But I think whats giving it that extra echo effect is that I sang on two tracks to fill out the vocal.(not including the backing vocal) Also I played two tracks with the guitar(not including the lead bit) and panned them LandR. I think that works for the Guitar but I must come up with another thing for the vocal.

ubw newbie Joined: Oct 17, 2004 Location: CORK Posts: 45

OK I put the lyric up with the song. Go easy on me Don I dont think I have a thick enough skin yet as your site suggests. lol. Very Happy

Posted: Sun Oct 17, 2004 6:43 pm

You brought colour and beauty to everyones life youve met

This is the only line that grabbed me. It seems to be out of beat with the rest.

You brought colour and beauty to all those you met

or

You brought colour and beauty to those you touched

I salute you.

ubw newbie Joined: Oct 17, 2004 Location: CORK Posts: 45

I changed that line to
You brought colour and beauty to everyone you met.

It works better thanx for pointing that out.

I've totally reworked this song if you all would like to have a listen. There is now just one main vocal track less reverb. I think it sounds better. Let me know if you hear anything I need to address.

http://unsignedbandweb.com/music/play.php?band_id=1790&song_id=2281&mode=song_hifi

Posted: Mon Nov 22, 2004 7:05 pm

Glad I could help, Rogue.

And dang it if that ain't Marty Robbins now playin' on my MP3 Player. Whoo-hooo, way to go Rogue. Brilliant track, sir. Very Happy

Posted: Sat Nov 27, 2004 8:41 pm

yo man, listening to "i hear you calling" now.

nice, very positive vibe. a bit beatles influence in there, yes? vox get a bit silent at some parts, could use some compression or eq or something but overall even though it's not my cup of tea, diggin this one for sure, good stuff.

peace.

ubw newbie Joined: Oct 17, 2004 Location: CORK Posts: 45

Thenx for the listen unproject.
Yeah that song needs some reworking alright. I will redo the vocals and just single track them. I'd love to get female backing vocals for it but will just have to wear a tight pants when I go to do it. Laughing

Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 3:43 pm

Dude, your avatar is kindof scary

smili

Posted: Sun Nov 28, 2004 5:02 pm

Hi!

With some more work on mastering and levels your sound has a great potential!!!

really dug what I heard!

Keep up the good work!

peace

alek Cool

Beautiful Little Rose ALT.Country

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