Flatt Tin Roof

Now then! I've got to be a bit careful here I think because some of my pupils might be reading, so I'll avoid telling you about last week when we gate crashed an Ann Summers party! (It was an unavoidable accident!) Not much to say here! I think Adie said everything in his blog, even if he did twist it round a bit! Its actually him who's been stressing out over a problem he had with his teeth and couldn't get in touch with the dentist, fortunately, I'm used to dealing with kids and I think he's calmed down a bit now! Things are looking good for the band; we've got an audition this weekend for a new vocalist apparently. I'm told he's a bit bluesy/gospel style which should be cool. I'm still not fully convinced C.C didn't give up too easily, but time will tell, for sure it should add something new to the band, and maybe help us kick start a tour outside Yorkshire! Speaking of which, the Sheffield gig we did at "Under the boardwalk" was excellent. Even my missus came to that one! We had screaming girls at the front too. Although I'm not sure if they were screaming for me to put my shirt back on or cheering for more! Hoping to get in touch with the promoter and try and get in there again, it was a good night, and for once Adie behaved himself and we didn't have to worry about him running out the door before the gig started (although that fiver I gave the bouncer probably helped!) One final thing I need to explain, the whole Jay-z thing. A few people have been asking me whether they should call me Jay or Jay-z. Usually people call me Jay, but Adie and C.C conspired together to come up with Jay-z (really original right?) so feel free to call me what you want, but save Gertrude for those weekends! Gonna get off, I've got work to do. We'll let you know how the vocalist situation turns out, and for those who are interested check out our site – www.flatttinroof.org.uk the details are all there! Goodnight! Jay-z/Jay

Heya all, I'm not really sure what to write here, usually we just leave all this writing stuff to our P.R guy, but since he's away I guess its up to me and Jay-z to take up 5 minutes of yer time! The band have had a couple o'hard weeks recently, and my ears have been the victims! Jay-z has been howling more than the American werewolf in London, about going back to school this week. But I guess sooner or later, hes gonna have to bite the (silver?) bullet and teach those kids a thing or two! (Sorry C, couldn't help myself!) C.C on the other hand, has decided to open up a new drinking den in the centre of town. He's called the new place "The office". Im guessing this is some kind of tribute to Ricky Gervais and his mob, but at least even they managed to find a smart shirt and tie! In case you haven't been to C.C's current "office" let me fill you in. Ever since hes been working from home, im greeted by his new outfit, which consists of a pair of boxers (if we're lucky!) and a can of Stella!! As for me? Well, I'm busy with volunteer work. This time it's the elderly, but hey, its good to help out your elders, just ask C.C and Jay-z ive been helping them out for years! Actually I do wonder how long before ive got to wheel out C.C onto stage, for sure with the states he gets himself into it cant be too long!! Having said that, C.C makes a mean dominos player, and I think its fair to say hes looking pretty good for a guy of 42, don't you think? Still single too, so any ladies, who want an outrageous womanizing playboy, do get in touch, and ill pass the messages to him. That's yer lot for now! I could get into this blog writing stuff, if only I had something interesting to say!!!! Adie xxxx

It has been a frantic last couple of months for FTR. During which the lads embarked on a mini tour of their home county, which saw them entertain the south and beyond! After that success, the boys had chance to reflect when an unexpected holiday appeared. An air of mystery surrounded the band when flamboyant drummer Jay-z disappeared one night with his wife. It wasn't until the rest of the band received postcards from Hawaii they'd realized he was actually gone!! (Good to see Adie and C.C keeping the rust off Jay-z's electronic drum kit). However, back in the studio, it seems directions may be changing as they recently began advertising for a new lead vocalist! Shocked at the news I tracked down Jay-z personally (once he was back!) to get the full story and find out more. Of course as always, the dynamic drummer was happy to explain that although Adie and he had initial apprehension at the idea, C.C was defiant and convinced the 2 that it was for the best. Here's how the interview went down: - Me: - "Thanks for the coffee Jay-z and your time. Please begin by telling us about this change." Jay-z: - "No problem, anything for the fans. As for the change, well me and Adie didn't want one at first, but one day when we were working in the studio, C.C came in worse for wear, he was reeking of booze." Me: - "I see something's never change!! Just like C.C always tells us!!! C.C is renown for this kind of stuff, in fact, id be shocked if he came in dressed in a business suit all smart and dapper! You must've read his debauchery in our earlier blogs?" Jay-z: - "Yea, youre right that's pretty normal for C, he does party a lot, but that day he'd smoked 2 packets of Marley reds the night before and needed a rest on the mic. He sounded a bit like Barry White that day, but still he produced some amazing guitar solos and rhythms. If I remember right, it was in the pub afterwards when he began telling us that he wanted to focus more on lead and retreat to backing vocals. Personally I wasn't sure, but you know how C.C is, once he has his mind on something he never backs down!" Me: - "Actually, from what im told he throws a temper tantrum to put Pete Doherty to shame! Is that right?" Jay-z: - "Haha! Im not sure where you heard that, but yea, he can be a bit of a diva!!! Anyway, Adie had to rush off to help an old lady or something, for voluntary work and me and C had a few more pints. It was that night we decided we'd advertise. It took some convincing to get Adie to agree to it though, but he did, and so now we've begun advertising around." Me: - "Sounds like a collective decision, I like that. So have there been any takers or is it still early days?" Jay-z: - "We're hoping to check out a couple of people this weekend, and the week after. You know, we'll see how it goes, play it by ear. They'll be no decisions made for a bit yet, we gotta make sure FTR has the right person, with the right voice as well as personality to boot" Me: - "So is this frontman going to be even more outrageous than C.C himself!?" Jay-z: - "Well there's only one way to find that out! Youll have to come to the next gig! But be sure, were not looking for any reserved or shy people, were looking for a guy with real presence" Me: - "Sounds like big things are coming for FTR. Oh one final thing, how did the mini tour go and how was Hawaii?" Jay-z: - "Ahh you heard about Hawaii? Not much gets past you does it? Hawaii was gorgeous! Second only to the missus! I better put that in or she'll kill me. It was the perfect end to a successful tour. I think probably Sheffield was my favourite leg - good beer, comfy sofas, and it was our last gig before the smoking ban kicked in!" Me: - "Sounds like a hoot. Sadly I missed that one, but I'm looking forward to seeing the boys back on stage soon. Thanks again for talking with us Jay-z" Jay-z: - "No problem, anything for the fans. Don't forget - No one gets let behind… including you!" So there you have it, and for anyone looking at trying out for the boys, check out their website - www.flatttinroof.org.uk It promises to be an interesting time for these lads during the next couple of weeks. Sadly, im not gonna be around, I've got a holiday of my own coming up in Las Palmas! But don't panic, I've asked Adie and Jay-z to write me a couple of blogs while im away and ill post them all up when I return. So stay tuned and don't miss out!!! Don't forget to send your opinion. Contradition is up and running and sounding in my view hotter than ever. Make sure you leave a comment! EDIT! - OOPS! Sorry guys!!!! How embarrassing! I forgot to post this before I left!! Apologies!

Hey Guys, For a while now Flatt Tin Roof have been teasing us with ongoing controversial rumours about updating their demo on their aesthetically pleasing myspace site. After 2 months, we were beginning to all get a bit worried... until now! Having decided to take drastic action to tie C.C Smith down, it was arranged that i would become an accomplice to Jay-z and Adie's masterplan. It has long been known that C.C Smith is more than adept at his mixing skills when it comes to computer aided music recording; but time and again, (usually due to excess womanising) C.C is either A.W.O.L or fast asleep in his luxurious rock star bachelor pad. However, at 7:30pm last Saturday, C.C had nowhere left to run. Like a scene from V for Vendetta, the minute C.C left his house, the three of us quickly (with the aid of Brabantia bin liners and the ever useful gaffer tape) made a move and before you could say "Noones lying just talking fiction" C.C was locked in the basement surrounded by musical equipment with a small fridge full of beer and a locked door preventing his exit. I suppose its fair to say, that weekend wasn't quite what C.C had planned. But though it could be considered an outrageous step in enforcing production of the demo, its testimony to the the drastic procedures these boys will go to in order to give the fans what they've been asking for. Jay-z told me "We had to take these measures. But don't panic, noone got hurt, and C.C saw the funny side of it... albeit 2 days later!" Adie continued"Sometimes action needs to be taken. We all know C loves women, but this time his serious passion was needed to work wonders on the body of a wireless computer keyboard, not Bertha from Barnsley". The result? 2 days later Contradiction was leaked and FTR are proud to present their latest recording of the cult track that has continually been asked for by fans both at gigs and via myspace. The boys sure hope you like it, but hey, why not let them know? Leave a comment and tell them if its an improvement on the other songs. If it aint, tel them that too! As for me, ive been listened to it for the last couple of days and still aren't tired of it yet. The quality is that bit better then previous recordings we've heard, and if C.C is to be trusted the news gets better and better. We are told FTR will be in the private studio this summer for the recording of an E.P! Lets hope the bin liners wont be needed that day!