I get home from work but i can't open that door
It's blocked with crap all over the floor
Free newspapers and the staffordshire life
But I don't wanna read about no farmers wife

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I get papers and letters from retards unknown
Business directories and menus that glow
It's all just a bunch of pointless loser-drivel
So why don't you all sit on this... and swivel

Well Political parties; yes they're in on the act
Soiling my carpet with political crap
There should be legislation and that's a fact
To stop those mother fuckers shitting on my mat

I say death to the trees; let's turn em to waste
Grind em up with stuff n **** and add some paste
We'll make nice clean sheets for you to write your **** on
Screw the fucking paperless revolution

Timber (need this be said!) rpt

I get offers from banks I've never heard of their name
Double glazing price lists - Do they have no shame?
I get pizza delivery and broadband flyers
Letters from scroungers - what a bunch of liars

Telecom and Gas - they can't be left out that's true
The local garden centres and religions too
Health care and Bingo they contaminate my hall
Accident claim forms in case I should fall.

(over all the fucking mail - it's junk)

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