In Love and Death

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Bullet41
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Joined: May 22, 2005
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 9:07 am Reply with quote

I have no money
but my love for you gives you everything an girl would ask for
my car is broken
but my heart carrys you everywhere you desire
me and you are so young
"let make this last forever"

Every second your away from me seems like an millenium of loneliness
every time i wake up seperated from you my heart feel likes an empty rollacoster
everyday will always feel like our first honey moon
i swear

Everytime i fall your love gets me back up again
everytime i fail your your love makes me strong again
this candel of love will never die out
because me and you cant live with out each other

every second your away from me seems like an millenium of loneliness
every time i wake up seperated from you my heart feels like an empty rollacoaster
everyday will always feel like our first honey moon
i swear

"This cant be a dream"
i know this is real
"this cant be an dream
I KNOW SHES REAL

shes not real
"THIS IS A DREAM"
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Bullet41
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Joined: May 22, 2005
Location: Bracknell
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 9:10 am Reply with quote

Dude i f**king hate writen love songs.
You better post your opinions i dint just right this love song for you people just go BORING!!!
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minusme
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Joined: Jan 25, 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 3732

Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 12:57 pm Reply with quote

lol....

I'm having a tough time with this one, and I think it's because you are inferring 'her' thoughts into your words without building 'her' up.

For example:
Quote:
Every second your away from me seems like an millenium of loneliness
every time we wake up seperated our hearts feel like an empty rollacoster


When "WE" wake up ... and "OUR" hearts feel...

If you had said ...everytime 'I' wake up ..... and "MY" heart feels...

I think it would have felt better to me.

Thanks for sharing!
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hereafter
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Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2005 8:53 pm Reply with quote

you no "in love and death" is the title of the used's album,so i would think about changing it but its not that big of a deal.
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RiCterMan
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Joined: Jun 10, 2005
Location: Madison, OH
Posts: 734

Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 3:56 am Reply with quote

Bullet,

You hate writing love songs? LoL. It's good, man. -And honestly, it doesn't matter much what kind of song you write, as long as the content is good. What I'm trying to get at, is like with me, if I want to write a romantic type song, I try to make sure that it is really good. Reason being, sometimes when I hear a love song on the radio, I think, "What is this garbage?" I'd prefer people to listen to my words and how they are sung, and think, "That's not bad for a love song." If you care to check it out, search my posts and look for a song I wrote called, "The Reverie of Athena". It's an example of one of the very few romantic songs I've done, but I tried to make it sound decent when I wrote it. If you look at it, please comment. Cheers!

RiCterMan
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Bullet41
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Joined: May 22, 2005
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Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 4:50 am Reply with quote

hereafter wrote:
you no "in love and death" is the title of the used's album,so i would think about changing it but its not that big of a deal.


Wow someone acturely noticed.LOL.Yea i couldnt think of an good love song name so i called it In Love and death.
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sixtysecondminute
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Joined: May 27, 2005
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Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 4:56 am Reply with quote

RiCterMan wrote:
Bullet,

You hate writing love songs? LoL. It's good, man. -And honestly, it doesn't matter much what kind of song you write, as long as the content is good.


I disagree.

Nothing should matter, aslong as it means somthing to him.

Not meaning to sound harsh... but, as with my work; I see it very unlikely that it will ever be heard by more than the people I ask to listen to it. You should be writing your songs from the heart so that every word means somthing. Every feeling I describe in my lyrics is one I have felt. Every feeling and song is a reminder to me. That's why I enjoy writing so much.

If you aim to please others; you will lose the emotion and significance of your songs, and they won't be as good.

To be honest I'm not too fond of his work; hence why I commented on so few of the things he posted. I think it shows potential. I just hope he finds a way of developing his self expression as opposed to hopping on the band wagon and writing songs like every other lovestruck/broken-hearted teenager around these days.

Bullet; My advice is to keep working on what you have, and try to make every word count for somthing inside you. Try not to use too many cliches which would be expected in such songs.
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RiCterMan
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Posted: Mon Jul 25, 2005 5:50 am Reply with quote

Of course'. What I meant by good was good, to him, and I pretty much forgot to add that (about the words meaning something to him) in there, due to lack of sleep. I'm getting back into a pattern of being up through-out the night, and I tend to lose train of thought more-so when I'm sleep deprived.

I completely agree with writing from the heart, and that is how I always write. If I don't feel any attachment to something I've written, I simply discard the idea from my mind.

Also, I too know that my song lyrics will most likely only reach as far as my family and friends, so what I think about when I'm writing, is pretty simple: Two things- 1) Write to send a message (to whomever). -And 2) Write mainly for me. I don't think that those thoughts could ever change in me, even if somehow I did gain success, because in my opinion, you shouldn't write for others even if success is achieved.

Time to go. Cheers, to Tom, Bullet, and All else!

RiCterMan
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