Not this Time

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stained_glass
ubw newbie
ubw newbie



Joined: Mar 05, 2005

Posts: 2

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:40 pm Reply with quote

note:this is song is not fully finished but I just want to get people's opinions(constructive crticism is always welcomed)

I found out today
that everything is not okay
I don't know what to do anymore
Or how to act
Or what to say
Because it's so shocking
That you'd think that of me
And it hurts inside
But that's where it will have to stay
'Cause I know I can't cry
Not this time,no not this time

The tears are comeing to my eyes
I'm about to break down
So will you keep your promise
And pick me up when I'm falling down
Not this time,no not this time

Chorus:
When will it be time
To come and save me from my fate
Because all I hear is not this time
Well I hope the time is drawing near
please end my fear
And let it be this time

Oh,you know
My greatest fear of all
Is that soon I will fall
Will you save me
From the bottomless pit I am falling towards
Please save me,please save me

Before you go
And turn your back on me
Just one,simple question
Why try to trust
Or why try to love
When you just end up getting hurt in the end
When will you answer me
Big suprise,not this time

Chorus
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Brooksy
ubw screen dweller
ubw screen dweller



Joined: Oct 08, 2004
Location: The Wastelands
Posts: 1897

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 1:51 pm Reply with quote

First off welcome to Unsigned Band Web.

OK, below is how I would percieve the lyric. Yes there are some niggles, and totally obscure ones, but heck, that's just me.

I found out today
that thing's are not okay
I don't know what to do anymore
Or how to act , Or what to say
Because it's so shocking
What you think that of me
And it hurts inside
But that's where it will have to stay
'Cause I know I can't cry
(Last line erased. Mentioned in bridge)

The tears are coming to my eyes
I'm about to break down
So will you keep your promise
And pick me up when I'm falling down
Not this time,no not this time

Chorus:
When will it be time
Come, save me from my fate
Because all I hear is not this time
Well I hope it's drawing near
please end my fear
And let it be this time

Oh,you know
My greatest fear of all
Is that soon I will fall
Will you save me
From the bottomless pit
Please save me,please save me

Before you go
And turn your back on me
Just one,simple question
Why try to trust , why to love
When you just end up getting hurt
When will you answer me
Big suprise,not this time

Chorus


Ok, not much to do...nice, well written lyric.
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minusme
Site Admin



Joined: Jan 25, 2004
Location: New York
Posts: 3761

Posted: Sat Mar 05, 2005 2:11 pm Reply with quote

Welcome the Unsigned Band Web Stained Glass!!!

I really enjoyed reading your lyrics. Very well written, and full of emotion. Hopefully we'll get to hear the song sometime!

Take care,
Ron
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